I haven't posted in awhile. Taking it one day at a time. One day I'm good, the next I'm crying. Last week was crazy. Last Tuesday I wanted to talk to my husband and refused. He told me he did not want to talk to me unless it was about our daughter. And I said no. And he walked away. So, I went two days without contacting him or him contacting me. The Friday morning when I was leaving for work, my phone cell rang and it was my husband. He was asking for a favor. He wanted me to come and pickup our daughter and take her to daycare because he had locked himself out of his apartment. I said no problem. I showed up, pick our daughter in the car. He asked if I had a screwdriver. I told him to look in the trunk of my car. No screwdriver. He said he would walk and buy a cheap screwdriver. Then he remembered his wallet was inside. I asked if he needed money and he said "yeah". I gave him $10. Then I remember I bought him a swiss army knife for christmas last year. I told him it was in his car. He tried to use that to open the door but it did not work. He looked at my and said just take her to daycare, you are stressing me out. I turned around and headed for my car. He walked over and kissed our daughter and told him that he loved her. And he looked at me grumpy and said thanks. I just knodded my head. Then 10 min later I received a text from him say thank you very much. I replied back, no problem. Then that same day around lunch time he calls me and talks about 15 min. about stupid stuff. He said, "what are you thinking? Are thinking that I am a d!#k and I am trying to be nice?" I said no, I am not thinking anything, just listening to you talk. Then he hung up. Then a couple of minutes later, I received 4 text messages from him about stupid stuff. Well, Saturday and Sunday comes and I do not have any contact with him. Then Monday evening I received a text message about my daughter's shorts.
Why is it he said for me not to contact him unless it was about our daughter, but it seems he can't go a few days without contacting me? He is leaving me confused.
I haven't posted in awhile. Taking it one day at a time. One day I'm good, the next I'm crying. Last week was crazy. Last Tuesday I wanted to talk to my husband and refused. He told me he did not want to talk to me unless it was about our daughter. And I said no. And he walked away. So, I went two days without contacting him or him contacting me. The Friday morning when I was leaving for work, my phone cell rang and it was my husband. He was asking for a favor. He wanted me to come and pickup our daughter and take her to daycare because he had locked himself out of his apartment. I said no problem. I showed up, pick our daughter in the car. He asked if I had a screwdriver. I told him to look in the trunk of my car. No screwdriver. He said he would walk and buy a cheap screwdriver. Then he remembered his wallet was inside. I asked if he needed money and he said "yeah". I gave him $10. Then I remember I bought him a swiss army knife for christmas last year. I told him it was in his car. He tried to use that to open the door but it did not work. He looked at my and said just take her to daycare, you are stressing me out. I turned around and headed for my car. He walked over and kissed our daughter and told him that he loved her. And he looked at me grumpy and said thanks. I just knodded my head. Then 10 min later I received a text from him say thank you very much. I replied back, no problem. Then that same day around lunch time he calls me and talks about 15 min. about stupid stuff. He said, "what are you thinking? Are thinking that I am a d!#k and I am trying to be nice?" I said no, I am not thinking anything, just listening to you talk. Then he hung up. Then a couple of minutes later, I received 4 text messages from him about stupid stuff. Well, Saturday and Sunday comes and I do not have any contact with him. Then Monday evening I received a text message about my daughter's shorts.
Why is it he said for me not to contact him unless it was about our daughter, but it seems he can't go a few days without contacting me? He is leaving me confused.
I have just read your post. My husband does the same thing. He contacts me every day except when he is with his girlfriend. He has been doing this for a year. See my posts if you can open them: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2184567#Post2184567 The constant contact gave me hope. But now I have no hope since he is moving in with his girlfriend in 3 weeks.
M 45 H 44 Married 9/09 Seperated 9/10 Not yet filed for divorce 1/11 - H meets OW in another state 9/7/11 - H tells me he is moving to another state on 10/1/11
I feel like I have no hope left. I keep praying that he will come around, but nothing. The last contact I have had with him was last Tuesday. I miss him. I have decided not to contact him and let him be. But when I think about him, I get this sudden anxiety attack and my heart starts to race. I feel like if I leave him alone, that he will like it and I will lose him forever. I did go to the doctor this past week to get me some medicine for my depression and anxiety. I am taking it one day at time, but that's about it. I am in counciling every week to help me deal be able to deal with day to day issues.
Counseling is a good thing, I'm glad you are doing that for yourself.
As hard as it is, you have to let go of the what if's and just live your life. I know it is very hard to do, but it is important. My thoughts wander constantly to my H but I have to remind myself and sometimes out loud, that the ONLY thing I have control of is myself and my actions. Whether your H enjoys life with or without you is out of your control. Yes, your attitude and behavior can sway him one way or the other, but if he is done with you there is nothing you can do about it. The best gift you can give yourself is to take care of yourself. You are getting there. Continue to focus on you. Become the best woman I can be.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I am so pi$$ed this morning. Last night a friend of mine helped my H to move some furniture. H told our friend that he was happy that I hadnt contacted him in a over a week. But he wanted to call me and tell me some things about our daughter, but did not want me to think he was being nice to me. So H to our friend that if he wanted to let me know anything concerning our daughter he would let tell our friend and then our friend would relay the message to me. So, I sent H an email telling him that I would appreciate if he had anything to say concerning our daughter, he was to contact me directly. How immature is this?
That sounds very immature of him. I'm so sorry Hopeful that you are going through this mess. I go through the same thing but I feel it is getting better as time goes by. I am so much better than I was earlier this year. The hurting will get less.
M 45 H 44 Married 9/09 Seperated 9/10 Not yet filed for divorce 1/11 - H meets OW in another state 9/7/11 - H tells me he is moving to another state on 10/1/11
Ok. It's been 2 1/2 weeks since my husband and I have talked/texted/emailed. He said that he need his space and time. But how much time? I wonder if he is thinking about us. Is it true "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or it is more "out of sight out of mind?"
Hope, the hardest part for you could be the patience of waiting... they call that a virtue...
So many of us are still here... still patient... and frustrated...
I've learned that there's nothing I did nor didn't do... nor could have nor should have nor...
Until your H is ready to face your M, he will likely do everything to avoid it... and the LBS just really needs to accept that... the WAS may never come to that table...
It hurts... take care of yourself during his absence... if you choose to contact and stir the pot... accept the bad that might come of it...
I was wondering how much time do I give him before I try talking to him about us. My therapist said another week or two. But I don't want to force him into decision because then I am scared he will say divorce.
