Thanks, all, for your comments and concern. I let my little pity party last for a short while, watched a new episode of "Burn Notice" on Hulu, then dragged my sorry butt to the gym for a good workout. Did a little grocery shopping and am now here with all of you and glass of wine to help take the edge off.
I'll keep working on the house to get things in order for the rest of the evening; also have laundry to do. And yes, I am a man who is perfectly capable of handling domestic chores; I have always believed it's 50/50 when it comes to housecleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc.
Why am I sharing all of this? I have no idea...
I am very grateful that we are all here to keep each others' heads above water. Thanks again.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
-I wear my band sometimes. Usually if WAW is going to be around, I'll wear to reinforce the obvious w/o saying anything. Typically I leave it off.
-Just the petition for D as filed by W. As I understand it, in PA there is no real 'separation' but the date of separation is when one party leaves the home.
-Burn Notice - GREAT show. I lived in Miami for a while, and it's always fun to recognize the locations they use.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
TM, my W quit wearing her band around Labor Day last year (that really hurt for whatever reason). I stopped earlier this year, couldn't even tell you when.
MI doesn't have legal S, so we're just two M people living apart. I still use W's house as my 'official' address, but my mail goes to a PO box.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Technical question - what kind of light system do you have on your bike?
One that's not near strong enough. It allows me to be seen most of the time, and it's decent for lit roads at night. It's a Cateye 3-LED that I bought for aoubt $15. The taillight's also a Cateye - I didn't spend much more on it it, but it's pretty decent. What I really need is one of those really strong ones, but I'm not prepared to spend $180 on it. I was talking to the bike shop earlier this year and they suggested a Blackburn for about $50 for a good middle of the road one.
Are you "legally" separated, i.e. formal court documents, financial protections in place, etc.?
Yes, I am still wearing my wedding band. I think it's a personal decision for everyone. For me, it's partially an act of defiance. I don't agree that D is the right answer or the key to happiness. I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid. It's a reminder that I'm not giving up easily. Other people that know both of us can easily tell who wants this D and who doesn't want it as well.
We are informally separated right now. Or I guess you could say "illegally" separated becuase there's no court documents in place.
I know the ring is an age-old question. We have not worn our for a number of years now, since W's A. I've been giving a lot of thought to putting it back on, but am worried that it wil be seen as a negative, a reminder of all of the bad times we have had and not a sign of a better future.
I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday, Telemark. Sometimes I find that allowing myself to have a bad day, gives me renewed strength. If I allow my pain it's full expression, then it seems to have less power over me. It's as if after you acknowledge the pain, then it's easier to move forward because some of it has been diminished in that expression. At least that's the way I look at it. Not sure that even makes sense to anyone else though.
Not sure that even makes sense to anyone else though. 