I've been on Newcomers for awhile but since D was final a week ago thought I should head over here. I didn't post much mostly lurked. Its just been over a year since ex dropped the bomb. He moved out 8 months ago and filed in March. August 5 was the final divorce hearing. Its been a hell of a year. I told him up until the end I did not want a D but if it went through then I was DONE. So now on to the next stage of my life. Trying to get out of the family home into a new place. My ex is living in the apartment over the garage and we share a driveway. He is going to refi the house and buy me out hopefully by the beginning of September. I have pets (large dog and stupid old crazy cat) The strangest thing he is doing now is he fought me on how much I would get in the settlement but after we agree on an amount now he offers to give me more. How do I respond to that?
So sorry that you find yourself here. There are people at various stages here, myself I am three years out.
You didn't say but I am assuming that there aren't kids in the picture. Are you looking to buy a smaller place or rent? What part of the country are you in( we are all over and someone in your area may know more about certain aspects of your situation)?
What kind of GAL things have you been doing? My best advice at the moment is to not jump into another relationship. Work on finding some balance in yourself. Try something you always wanted to but haven't. Sorry for all the questions just trying to get an idea of where things are at.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Actually I have three kids, 21, 17 and 7 but they are an impedement to the housing situation so I didn't mention them in this thread. As far as GAL I've lost 9 pounds in ayear I go to the gym three times a week, I've gone from practically not working to working 30plus hours a week. I've done some meetups- a dining club one and I started going back to church back in December.
Sorry you find yourself here. I was dreading coming over to this stage when I was going through my situation but it really is not so bad here and actually, it turns out the best thing that ever happened to me although the process was long and hard.
Take things in stages, let yourself heal and be kind to yourself. For me, I had to get used to just 'living' again. My time had been so taken up with the situation and the pain that it was only when I actively started creating a life for myself that it lessened.
I remember I had a bit of a nightmare trying to find a place that allowed pets, something will turn up though, it always does.
