Thanks to all of you for keeping me afloat the last 5 months; your support and comments helped me deal with this in the best way possible.
So...on with the show...
Had an outstanding weekend at the Civil War Music Festival in Windham, NY. After the Grand Concert on Saturday night, which is held in a beautifully restored church in the center of Windham, our band, the Susquehanna Travellers (we have a website and FB page if you're curious, and you can put a face to the name - I'm the banjo & mandolin player) went up the street to the Cave Mountain Brew Pub and entertained the patrons until 1 AM. Sure didn't want to come home.
But, come home I did. W was gone and I walked through the half-empty house. I was sad, but not as devastated as I thought I would be. I noticed W had taken some furnishings we agreed would stay with me so I sent her a polite TM asking to return them. She called almost immediately, apologized and started to cry on the phone. I told her it was all OK, that we could not have continued living in the same house and that we should just take everything a day at a time. She still had several items she needed to get. I offered to disconnect her computer and label the connections so she could reconnect everything at her place; she was genuinely appreciative.
About 30 minutes after I got home, my son walked in the front door and said, "Dad, I knew this would be hard for you so I'm going to stay here with you this week while you get right with things." Did I raise a good one, or what?
So we went to see "Cowboys & Aliens". Strange, but entertaining. We arrived early, picked our seats which was easy since we were the only 2 there until just before the movie started, and just talked until the previews started.
Also received several calls and TMs from friends checking on on my mental health.
This morning, I feel surprisingly OK and confident. I'm sad that everything came to this, but as I think back over our marriage, I realize that the problems and issues would never repair themselves. I told her yesterday the door is open, but we cannot go back to the old life. Maybe in a few months we can "date" each other and see how that feels. But right now, I'm content with life as it is.
Well, I'll be truly content after I re-furnish the house...
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I retain hope for you b/c I am POSITIVE YOU will be happy down the road.
especially since you're most of the way there now. But regardless of what your w does
and don't be shocked if she's at your door in 6 months,
you'll be well.
((( )))
(PS how is her autistic son?)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
What a great S you have. That shows what a great job you have done as a parent. I hope you have fun making the house yours. I am looking forward to doing that myself soon. I am also looking forward to not having the what is for dinner conversation. H is very picky and kids will eat anything. Lets look for the good parts of having the house to yourself.
You sound like you are in a much better place! Keep up the good work!
25yearsmlc, SS21-according to my W-seems to be adapting to the change. He could do an about-face any time and tear her place apart, but that has been the fact of life we've had to deal with. Thanks for asking about him.
Your observation about her possible return in 6 months is interesting; she has been much more communicative, warm and affectionate to me in the last 2 weeks. Now maybe, like me, she feels relief from the stress and tension while we were living together. But at least we are no longer the Bickersons.
paige40, I am in a good place. I'm not thrilled about spending money to re-furnish the house, but W was very good about dividing our stuff so it's OK. You will feel good about "taking back" your space; to me it is regaining control of my life, and I suspect you will experience that, too.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
S actually has been a big help. Did some food shopping, cleaned the kitchen...of course, just having his company is more than enough. We went electronics shopping tonight; looked at TVs and surround-sound systems, but had to buy a vacuum cleaner. With 3 dogs it's becoming Tumbleweed City around here.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
