2step, that would have wrapped me around the axle tightly. I have no personal basis for this opinion, but I also agree she is not done. She may not realize it herself though.
From one grunt to another, just be yourself and check 6.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I'm away in Alabama but will be flying home tonight that is the reason I have not responded.
I realize it's long but it's the only way to keep an accurate journal for myself.
When I get home I will go into more detail and keep it pithy.
It's 5:33AM and just woke up from 2 nightmares, one at 2am and one a few min ago.
First one I dreamt that I was stuck on a train and I could not get off. The people changed but I remained stuck. Kind of weird.
The second involved my X
She and I were talking face to face and she began to talk about her life and how tough it had been.
She told me she had been in two R were she had been hit how she had resorted to stripping to pay her bills, at that moment her new BF came in and started to grab her and touch her in front of me so I reacted.
I'm just writing about it for two reasons
I don't normally have dreams like this and I'm not sure why I just did.
And
I need record/log of this because it has put me in somewhat of a funk, something I have not felt in awhile. Writing seems to make me feel better.
I'll dedicate some more time when I get home but I'm limited from my phone.
I read it 2Step, but F you man...I need to go to the Eye doctor again. THANKS!
Hey man, the contact escalates because you show indifference. Get a clue would ya. You move on, you become the WAS, you HAVE something she likes. She wants it, she WILL come get it. Everything is a test. EVERYTHING.
You don't need to show indifference with this one, what you need to show is you like you and if she really likes you liking you... Guess who will be back?
Answer her tests, but accept the fact that you can't change what she did. Let her come to you FULLY and then let her know what YOU will accept.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Like some suspense novel huh? yeah just not an interesting read.
Except it's your life.
You can't just put the book down and leave the characters on the page right?
I am just going to venture it took a good while to write that synopsis up there and what does it do for you? For me? Just keeps me organized really. I have always documeted these convo's. At first it was to hopefully share them with my X but after it became clear the direction we were heading it was mainly to journal. Also I know some follow my thread that do not post and if in some small way I can help someone then I guess it is worth it to meBoundaries are for you. To protect you. And they are always under YOUR control.
You decide when to loosen them.
When is it good for 2Step to let down his boundary? I am not sure I follow?
When is it helpful to you on your journey to watch your W and wonder why? Wonder why what?
I didn.t read your whole thing either but is there anything up there that can definitively answer these questions for you? I don't know gritter. At this point I don't think so at least nothing I recognize.
What do you need to see from her really to come out of your detachment, that you have worked so hard to get, and allow yourself to get involved again? I need a lot more than some convo's from her. Actions would go a long way.
Originally Posted By: Country_Song
I am waiting for this.
Hope all is well 2.
Things are moving along and I have done a pretty good job of keeping myself busy.
My thoughts?
I had a lot more when I said that
I think she is experiencing guilt and pain. I think the Tulsa experiment did not go as planned.
I think OM dumped her because she had too much emotional baggage.
He is a college party guy living the single life and enjoying it.
I think the partying or the going out became something she did not like and got tired of pretty quickly
I think she became lonely and reached out to me.
just some small thoughts
Originally Posted By: hope2011
Everyone needs someone to talk to and for most of us, this board is all we've got. Type. Type as much as you need to.
Thank you hope and it is so nice to see you again. I will make sure I quote this message for AK, freaking whiner
Originally Posted By: JustStunned
I also agree she is not done. She may not realize it herself though. From one grunt to another, just be yourself and check 6.
I believe I will hear from her again but I treat every conversation as my last. I am fine either way at this point. I still do miss her and I have my moments of complete loneliness but I get through them much more quickly now. Sure is nice to see another grunt around here, kind of, seems to be a few of us lurking about
Originally Posted By: Brian in Hville
Next time you are in Alabama, let me know...we can go get some lunch (if you are near Huntsville)Brian
Brian will do buddy. Had a pretty decent time up around Fort McClellon (Don't even know how to spell it). Even if I am not near Huntsville I will find my way to you for lunch
The night before I left for AL she called we spoke for a little she told me something about D that she had mentioned and felt she wanted to share with me. Really it was nothing of note and because she wanted to know what I wanted to say to her that I did not say the day we spoke.
I am not ready for that convo, don't know that I ever will be at this point.
Conversation went ok and she joked a little bit
Then the complaining started about my mom and although she was not angry or mean about it she made sure she expressed her feelings
I listened for a bit
X: I know people tell D that I did not love her and that was wrong.
M: Well after the fact it is my job to protect D and you did break off all contact with her
X: Ok well I am not going to argue with you so have a safe trip and enjoy yourself. Goodnight
M: NIght
Went to bed with no worries
Next day I felt kind of bad about the cheap shot I took so I called her up, I knew she would not pick up since it was around 6AM so I left her a message
M: Just wanted to say I did not intent to taking a cheap shot at you lastnight. That issue with D was addressed when it happened and it should not have. I don't think at this point it really makes much difference but I did want you to know that it was addressed and it was wrong. That is pretty much it. Have a good day
Later that day I get the following text from her
X: I got your msg. Thank you. Although I wasn't asking for ur agreement or for u to do anything..Was simply stating what I thought was right n what I thought was wrong. I have never had any control over u n what u say or anybody else for that matter. Was only stating my opinion. It's natural for u n ur family to feel the way u do..That I am wrong n bad n have only even done harm to D. i knw the truth n that's all that matters...I have no control over u or ur opinions n cannot worry about it anymore. I'm very happy I got to see D, it is unfortunate for her the way things turned out. but i didn't cause it all by myself I knw this. Deep down u do too. I did the right thing. Have a good trip n talk to u again.
