Can my relationship be saved, part 2

[a girl]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2163385#Post2163385

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2167843#Post2167843

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2170802#Post2170802

I've changed this to "relationship" because I don't even know if I *want* a marriage with H right now. But we have a son and we love him, so we have to have a relationship - so, there's the focus.

My other thread got too long, so we're on thread number 4. I guess I post a lot.

[a girl]

Ok! A little journaling, just to try and clear my head.

What I know:
I need to have some sort of relationship with my H, for the sake of our son.
I cannot have anything beyond a business-like relationship with him while he is with OW - it is not good for my emotional health.
I need to work on GAL - every day, GAL is a choice.
I feel better when I eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise.
I need to focus on S7 and I - we are the place energy should go.
One way or another, this journey will reach a conclusion, and the only thing I can control is the person I am at the end.

What I don't know:
If his relationship with OW will end.
If he will want to come back if it does.
If I want to be with H in the long run.

What I can control:
Me. Myself. My actions. My reactions.

What I can't control:
Anything other than me.

Ok, there. That helps.

[~¤DG¤~]

I need to continuously remind myself of that also.

[paige40]

Me too!! Lets all remind each other!

[a girl]

Doing ok this morning. Couldn't wake up, despite going to bed early.

Had a dream that things were ok with H - strangely, it didn't upset me when I woke up - in fact, it took me a bit to remember I'd even had it.

Tonight is the first night of H not seeing S7 at all - he'll call him at 8:30 to say goodnight, but that's all.

Honestly, I'm losing hope - H doesn't seem phased at all by everything he's given up. I suppose I should stop trying to guess what he's feeling - waste of energy.

Anyway, just a little blue, not overwhelming, but not the happy confident place I like to be.

[~¤DG¤~]

He may not seem like it, but trust me, he'll crash and when he does it will hurt badly.

[a girl]

Thanks, DG. I know I need to stop worrying about him, and as I noted, I'm not even sure if I'd want him back .. but for some reason, the idea of him fawning all over someone else just ties me in knots.

I got a huge promotion at work today, that I've been working toward for 6 months, and I don't even want to tell him - like somehow him knowing will cheapen it.

Anyway. Off to treadmill - hope that will recalibrate me.

[jbnati]

I got a huge promotion at work today, that I've been working toward for 6 months

Congratulations on the promotion!

[a girl]

Thanks, JB! It really is awesome, although obviously a big change during this already changing time in my life. I think I'll do well, though - I like my job and it really helps keep me centered and focused.

[~¤DG¤~]

Congrats on your promotion! That is a great accomplishment!