I thought it would be good to have a thread just for recommended books we could read to help us all on this journey to discovering who we are and where we want to go.
Of course top of the list is Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner-Davis.
There are many others, but I would like every one to post books that have helped them.
I am currently reading "Broken Heart on Hold" by Linda Rooks
What are you reading that has or is helping you know.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Depression: I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real Unmasking Male Depression by Archibald Hart The Pain Behind The Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression by John Lynch, Christopher T. Kilmarting Unholy Ghosts, Writers on Depression by Nell Casey
Personality Disorders: Controlling People, How To Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans
Mid-Life Subjects: Men in Mid-Life Crisis by James Conway Women in MLC by Sally Cinway Your Husband's Mid-Life Crisis by Sally Conway Surviving Male Menopause, A Guide For Women and Men by Jed Diamond Male Menopause by Jed Diamond Understanding Men's Passages by Gail Sheehy The Wisdom of Menopause--Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing During the Change", written by Christiane Northrup, M.D
Miscellaneous Subjects: Mars and Venus, The Languages of Love by John Gray, Ph.D. Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis Divorce Remedy by MWD Sex Starved marriage by MWD Sex Starved Wife by MWD Solo Partner by Phil Deluca
Five Love Languagues by Gary Chapman Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson "Silent Sons" by Dr. Robert J. Ackerman THE SCRIPT--The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat".
I think I read 5 more but this list is good for starters, my midlife mind can't remember them all.
How to improve your marriage without talking about it - Love and Stosny - I really like this book when it comes to explaining the dynamic on why many men say "I am a failure".
Love and Respect - Eggerich - makes sense to me, a lot of time we forget to respect our mates when we get too comfortable.
The Love Dare - although many say it is pursuing, it opened up my heart to what unconditional love really means. I did not follow the dares, only those that were not too pursuing, (I am reserving them for later, when - note that I did not put if - my H has his change of heart. It is very Christian in its approach, and I would say it brought me a lot closer to God.
Wish I had the time to read more books! They really do help.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
In addition to others Cadet has posted I have read and recommend these as well:
" How to Improve your Marriage Without Talking About It" " Hold Me Tight" " Love and Respect"
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
I also recommend "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it" ... really does a good job of explaining the Fear/Shame dynamic.
Mars/Venus is a bit outdated but still contains a lot of helpful info. I actually made myself a cheat sheet in a word perfect doc to help me remember the 3 things that men and women need to feel loved.
"The 5 love languages" changed my life.
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw is also pretty good.
Love and Respect Codependant No More Journey from Abandonment to Healing
One of the early ones I read was "This is not the story you think it is" by Laura Munson after I found her article in the Times called "Those Aren't Fighting words Dear".
For gratitude and fun ...
The Book of Awesome The Secret
Other stuff ...
It's all too much by Peter Walsh - it's about clutter, all kinds.
Hmmmm ... my brain is tired ... I'm sure I'll think of more ...
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Everything I've read has been recommended, in terms of self-help, but for one book, The Power of Now, which I'm reading now and while it's a little spacey in parts, it does talk about being in the present all the time.
This is a weird recommendation but I also read Rachel Hadas's Strange Relation, which is a book about her losing her husband to dementia. Honestly I think any book about grief or loss helps. I am reading John Banville's novel The Sea right now (fictional but whatever) about a character's dealing with the death of his wife. I think many of us dealing with an ex with MLC deal with the emotions commonly experienced by someone who has lost a spouse through death, as the "death" of our partners who seem to change irrevocably is like the physical death of a spouse. So I think any book about loss is helpful...
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
The 7 Principles for a Successful Marriage by John Gottman. May be better for those who finally unite with spouse, or for people moving on and have already worked on their own issues.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
