Well I’m back. Don’t want to be but am. Long story short (as possible), 4 years go wife told me ILYBNILWY. We split. About 3 months later reconciled. Things were better. Bought a house, a cabin, etc. She recently started really working on herself and getting help. It really was improving things. She told me to not be around her or talk to her when I’m drinking. So I listen, being a social person I still needed/wanted to talk to people. So I chatted online/text people. Guys and girls just talking some but would be flirting but never crossed the line in my book. This has gone on a long time. Now in her digging she thinks I’m out having sex and being with all these people I text late at night. Not true. Well about two weeks ago one of my drunken text sessions went on and discussed sexual stuff. It went on a few nights long into the night and she found out yesterday. Check phone records everything. Now she says I killed it. There’s no way she could ever trust me again. I told her initially I separated the physical and emotional but she thinks it’s the same. I know I’m wrong. And the sexting was absolutely wrong and I want to stop but now it might be too late. She’s changing passwords on accounts, erasing things from our shared calendar, said the next time I’ll hear from her is through her lawyer. What do I do? I love her so much. Me: 33 W: 30 Two dogs (like kids to us) M: 8 years (on August 8th) Tog: 15 years Emotional Affair by me/Sexting: Lasting two weeks Discovered: 7/20/11
It tears me up because she was saying all the things I needed to hear in past tense last night. She would never tell me I’m the most important thing to her and be affectionate. I know she is filled with rage right now but where was the passion before the anger. I know there is no easy answer. I just hate myself for hurting her like this. All of the men are garbage in her life and I just proved to be another one.
Me: 33 W: 30 Two dogs (like kids to us) M: 8 years (on August 8th) Tog: 15 years Emotional Affair by me/Sexting: Lasting two weeks Discovered: 7/20/11
What's the best first move? I don't want to press her but I also want to talk to her. I want her to understand she's the most important thing in my life.
Me: 33 W: 30 Two dogs (like kids to us) M: 8 years (on August 8th) Tog: 15 years Emotional Affair by me/Sexting: Lasting two weeks Discovered: 7/20/11
I agree that all the social activity that upset your W needs to stop, now.
And while her world has been thrown upside down, from this moment forward it will be your actions and your transparency that MIGHT help her forgive and start moving back to R again...
What are your plans in that regard? This could be a very long road...
