After having been D for a year now,XW and I have almost daily contact.I have backed way off a couple of times and then she wants to do something as a family.We went on vacation together last summer and it was great.We have had no physical contact.She has been sick the last several days and has called me to ask if I could do something for her and I have done wantever she wanted.This coming week she is having the big female surgery and she said I could be at the hospital so I will go.She has left most of her stuff at my house also.I just wonder what is going on, I have been honest with her and told her I don't love her like I did but I would be willing to try.I have changed alot and am 10 times a better parent than I would have ver been if not for this and i know I could make her happy if she would accept it.I would like to hear from anyone else that has DBed after D or from WAWs that have thought about or have come back after D,or for that matter anyone with advise.
Nice to see you post and to hear that you and Ex are on a friendly basis.
You sound like you are on the right track. I wouldn't have told Ex that you didn't love her as much as before, though. Love is never static. Even if you were with her, the feelings of love would ebb and flow. Nobody is madly in love with their spouse all the time. Anyway, that's already done. I wouldn't mention it again.
Being her friend when she really needs you, is the right thing to do, no matter what comes of it.
You seem like an extremely nice guy. Perhaps your Ex is realizing just what she gave up. Sure hope so!
Thanks Rayanne,She can be so nice at times and other times she has that hate tone in her voice.She seems to like it when I do things for her I just wonder if I need to back off after this surgery.I did offer to take off work to help her for a couple of days and that she could stay at my house. Why does it have to be so hard to let go.It seems like its one thing or the other and nothing in between
I would go ahead and help her after surgery and let her stay with you, since you offered. I think emergencies suspend all the DB rules and stuff. You just have to do what is right.
After that, it might not hurt to back off a bit. I think she might miss you more if you were unavailable. I'm certainly no expert though. Nothing I did worked for me. I'm not exactly regretting that now. Time does change things.
X's can't figure them out and can't shoot them.She stood in the living room when I went to pick the kids up for school with nothing but a towel on,it didn't show anything but you know what I mean.But she won't go eat with the kids and I before she goes into the hospital.i kept my cool and stayed friendly when she said no which is what I have to do.Has anyone else had a X that did some of the stuff mine has?
The towel was a test, no women would do that with anybody they did not trust. Watch to see how she dresses from here on out. Do you know her love languages??
Operation, be there for her, take the time off, this was a mistake I made, while at hospital be attentive.
Touching, at hospital and other occasions, touch, not sensual, just touch here and there. This connects people subconsciously.
Thank You both for your replies.Tomorrow is the big day and hopefully everything will go alright and if it doesn't help anything else maybe it will at least let her feel better and thus allow her to be in a better mood.Thats all I can hope for right now.
