The BIG D and its Path of Destruction - Part 2

[LITB]

Time for a new thread.

Here is the link to my last thread.

The BIG D and its Path of Destruction

I dropped my kids and my mom off at the airport this morning to fly to NM to be with my X. I will tell you that having to see the pain on my sweet D8’s face was excruciating. My S5 doesn’t quite understand what is happening, so he was fine.

I will say that my X can cause me all the hurt in the world, but it doesn’t compare to see the effect on my kids. This morning I felt the urge to call the X to let her know how I feel about her selfishness. I had plenty of other words TBH than selfishness. I had my phone ready to dial twice, but I stopped myself. I feel much better now.

This has motivated me more than I was before to get my kids back to Ca before the school year begins. I realize that I have a steep uphill battle, but I’m not going down like this.

For you newcomers, my biggest mistake was to try to save my M and thread lightly about custody to avoid pissing my X off. I say F that. The kids come first, because they will always be your kids. Take care of your parental rights first. The R/M will follow.

The X and I did talk shortly about “the letter” that was never served to her. She did get it through her L. This is a little of the convo:

X: The thing that hurt the most in the letter was about my mom. I cycled through hurt and anger. I told myself that you said those things because I wanted a D and you were hurt.

M: I felt that the letter was too harsh….

X: But you said them.

M: I own my part. All I want to do is be a great dad.

X: You are a great dad.

(Note: In her letter/ex parte she again stated that I was an absent husband/father)

M: Hmmmmmm…

X: What? Since I told you that I wanted a D, you have been a great dad.

M: Well I don’t want to get into it, because I will defend myself and we will just go round and round. (This isn’t DB’ing. This convo was about our kids and I feel that she has told herself this enough that she believes it.)

We talked about the case a little and worked on the logistics of getting the kids to NM. She couldn’t even help me with any part of the expense. I suppose she at least gave me an additional day with the kids to get them packed, so that was worth more to me than anything monetary from her.

About the absent father thing, I already have several people, (including some mutual friends that she knew before me) that are willing to provide statements and testify on my behalf saying otherwise. There are other things that I am working on to make my case. I’m going to use this time wisely to compile everything.

I look at this as a blessing and that my kids are in NM on a vacation with their mom.

Oh, before I forget.

Last night my D8 asked me if we are D. I told her no, not right now. She asked what D meant. I told her it is when a married couple goes their separate ways. It means that you and brother will have 2 homes. Unbelievably painful. I honestly wasn’t prepared for that.

I didn’t even touch on her response and my rebuttal. There was so much silliness, that it wasn’t even funny. I don’t even think it is worth wasting my time on. It makes for some good reading I guess.

[LearningPatience]

LITB,
don't know what to tell you other than stay strong for both you and your kids' sake. Still can't grasp how the judge came up with his ruling...

[LITB]

LITB,
don't know what to tell you other than stay strong for both you and your kids' sake. Still can't grasp how the judge came up with his ruling...

Thanks for dropping LP. I don't understand it either, however I'm working my collective tail off to prepare for mediation and the hearing. This isn't going to stop me from fighting on. My kids deserve my best.

[jbnati]

LITB, all I can tell you is this sux. It's just not right. It's ridiculous. I am praying you and your kids like never before, buddy.

[LITB]

LITB, all I can tell you is this sux. It's just not right. It's ridiculous. I am praying you and your kids like never before, buddy.

Thanks a lot JB. That's means the world to me my friend. I hope you are doing well.

[♪CS♪]

LITB,

You have kept an amazing attitude through this. So be proud of yourself.

Wish you the best.

[LITB]

LITB,

You have kept an amazing attitude through this. So be proud of yourself.

Wish you the best.

Thanks for the kind words Country.

I have so many people coming to my aid, that today has been super busy. I've been on the phone, email and texting all day.

I just got off the phone with my X and I gathered that she thinks that the legal part is over. She can believe that all she wants, because I will be beyond prepared for the mediation/hearing.

[2stepboogie]

LITB

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this.

Talking to kids or rather answering their questions is prob the toughest part.

I remember that well and it was terrible.

What your saying is the truth.

When the kids are involved it is about protecting them and doing what is right.

Not about the X or the M.

That stuff will or will not come but regardless or the outcome the kids will always be.

[LITB]

For sure 2step.

I am in complete amazement in the support that I am getting for the hearing. Several people have already written statements about me as a person and my abilities as a father.

Many people are also willing to testify on my behalf. You never know what people think of you, but they are watching.

Honestly everyone is doing it because they feel that it is in the best interest of the kids to be in my primary care. That's all I want, the truth and what is best for the kids.

[LITB]

Amazing. I just got off the phone with my X. This is what I heard....."blah, blah, blah, blah.....blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm trying to make up for lost time with the kids, I took the kids to the park, you set the bar really high, I took them around town to find a camp, can you help with money to pay for camp because I really can't make it on my own without your help."

That's not exactly what she said, but that is what I heard. She was away from the kids since March 25th until yesterday, never did she set up a skype account. The kids left yesterday morning, I bought a WebCams for them to pick up in NM and myself in the afternoon.

She did ask me about money and I said, "sure, send me the cost, and I will see what I can do."

After all, this is about my kids right now and nothing worse than looking like a deadbeat in the court.