Is there any hope? I hope so.

[bboom]

[quote=Blown away]Yesterday I almost lost it when my W told me she was on the pill.
Then, today she was talking about the money spending and said she thought I might have been on a date. She said she would have been okay with it. [quote]

If she is ok with you on a date that's a warning sign that she is ok with her on a date. I know that snooping is a no-no on this forum, but i smEllen an affair. Sometimes it's good to know what you are dealing with. My w started a friendship on Facebook with an of friend who was going through a d that evolved into a n Ea then a Pa now i'm getting a D.

[Blown away]

I know there is a chance she is having one. I also know she spends lots of time with us as a family.

She shows signs that she still wants to be a family. She is always talking about the future together. She is always talking about doing things for me.

Even if she is having an A I don't think it will last. I need to let her figure things out on her own. DR says this is part of LRT. I am doing my best to save my marriage not sabotage of by spying and freaking out about what might or might not be.

[Starsky309]

She swears that she is not with anyone else but you never know. Although I'm not focused on finding out. I'm working on me and saving my family.

I would suggest to you that saving your family may include "from whom."


Starsky

[Blown away]

All that is can say is that I am taking Michelle's advice in DR. I am not spying or being confrontational. I am doing the LRT and allowing my W to find herself and figure everything out. I don't bring up our M or R. Neither of us have talked about a D in a while and I'm not going to bring it up.

[Truegritter]

Blown Away

You will find differences of opinion on here for what to do if you suspect there is an A.

In all likelyhood it has been my observation where there is smoke there is fire.

Me? I found out conclusively before I ever came here. In fact I had moved out because i found out. I got he typical denial. He is only a friend etc.

So for me I knew.

Was that good or bad? IDK. I proceded to do a lot of the advice that is given here or was given here at the time.

My gut tells me it would be better to know what you are facing in your M.

If I didn't already know I would have wanted to know. You will never get the truth or the whole truth from your spouse about it.

You can also waste a lot of heartache in obsessing on trying to bust her. That is my opinion.

Do what you need to do but don't let fear rule you. If it is happening then you have some choices to make.

[Blown away]

My choice is to let her do what she is going to do. I am a big believer of controlling what I can control.

I my wife is having an A then she has to deal with that betrayal to her family. I also feel is she is having an A that she will find out she won't get what she wants or the A. She wants a family and security. I am working on me and creating that type of environment at our home. She needs time to see that and feel confident that my changes are legitimate.

I am working on being patient and seeing what time will bring. I am going to stick with Michelle's advice and keep reading and rereading DR and DB.

[Starsky309]

My choice is to let her do what she is going to do.

Really? That's how you protect your family?

OM is a predator. I feel the man is obligated to do what he needs to do to protect his family; I guess you feel differently.

Good luck.

Starsky

[Blown away]

I do feel differently. I have no control over him. If I tried anything then all I would be doing is pushing my W straight to him.