Is this possibly a MLC?

[a girl]

I've been avoiding asking this question, but I guess now it's time.

I mostly post in Newcomers, but on Memorial Day weekend I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you", "I can't see us together", "I no longer have romantic feelings for you".

My thread, if you're really bored and want more detail -
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2163385#Post2163385

There's more (some past infidelity on my part, and a brief cyberfling on his, which I responded to with an EA), but everything ended almost 2 years ago. For the last 2 years, I thought we were "happy" - guess not.

Anyway, H has always struggled with his weight, but was about 210 when we married - he's gained about 140lbs in the 10 years we've been together - he's dieted and yoyo'd up and down, but never more than 40-50 lbs.

About 3 months ago, he got serious about diet and exercise, started back on low carb (I hate it, but it works for him), started doing the Power90 workout almost every day, started talking about how he was "old". He's lost about 50lbs, and now he wants to buy new clothes (mostly due to weight loss, I suppose?)

He bought a bike yesterday and took an hour long bike ride, as well.

I don't believe there's anyone else, and he's agreed to MC and we've had 4 sessions - she's pro-marriage, which is really helpful, although it's slow going. I'm thinking of working individually with one of Michele's coaches - H is not interested, but I am.

Some of it feels MLC, and some of it feels like depression mixed with never having dealt with our past issues.

Any input/thoughts?

[missmyfriend]

I am sorry you are finding yourself here but it is a good place to belong to a community of others going through similar rough times in their relationships.

As far as whether your spouse is going through a MLC our something else would be a guess on my part. While it sounds like it, with what you've shared, I would recommend that you go to the resources at the top of this section of three forum and read up on MLC.

While it would be nice to put a name to what is happening to your H, MLC can last a very long time. Regardless of whatever it is he is going through (and bringing you through it as well), read as much as you can here and in Micheles books. I would be cautious in sharing too much of what Michele reaches with your spouse, especially anything about a MLC because it can be offensive to them. I'm not an expert but I would make it a team effort with MC but keep the details of DBing to your self. Do through actions and not words.

Good luck! This isn't going to be easy.

Mmf

[Truegritter]

Girl

Welcome to these boards.

It is good to read through the resources.

No one here will tell you he is MLC you must come to your own conclusion and I am of the opinion that is doesn't matter.

What you need to do for yourself is the same.

Some might argue that there is no such thing as MLC...

That all WAS exhibit "strange/crazy" behavior.

On the continuum of illogical behavior an MLCer is at the more extreme end of the scale. Impetuous and emotionally driven. They can be selfish to the extreme which makes them destructive to anyone who cares about them.

So can a WAS.

The best advice I can give you is to take yourself out of the storm.

Protect yourself financially, legally and emotionally.

And live your life like he is not coming back.

[missmyfriend]

As far as whether your spouse is going through a MLC our something else would be a guess on my part. While it sounds like it, with what you've shared, I would recommend that you go to the resources at the top of this section of three forum and read up on MLC.

and

...I would be cautious in sharing too much of what Michele reaches with your spouse...

LOL, sorry about the errors. They should have been, in this order, "or", "the" & "teaches". Trying to use my phone to comment can be challenging when using a product called "swype" replaces some words without my noticing.

mmf

[a girl]

Thanks for the input. In doing the reading, although it currently seems to have some things in common with a MLC, I'm not prepared to call it that just yet.

Hope to meet with a DB Coach soon and get some a good plan in place - maybe that will help clarify things in my head.