Well, I guess they were serious about that whole 100 post thing! My only regret: I haven't had time to come up with a really clever title, so I'll just 'borrow' the third title from a classic trilogy.
I think I was the textbook DB this evening and it feels good!
SD texted me while I was on my way there; she said her mom wanted to know if I wanted more Swiss Chard from the garden. I replied 'yes, I would. Thank you!', picked up my boys and headed over there. We got there and it didn't feel weird at all to me. Knocked on the door, SD answered and as I walked in a little one-pound fuzzy thing ran at me. SD's Yorkie puppy might be the cutest thing I've ever seen! Picked her up (the puppy) and she was all licking and nibbling and I was laughing a ton. W and SD were both amused. I was really upbeat, made a few jokes and made W laugh and took off.
Dinner was nice, it was good to catch up with SD and her with my boys. Showed her my apartment afterwards and she agreed it was tiny. She asked more about it, told her it would be month to month soon. She asked if I was going to stay, get something else or buy a house like my old one (before W). Told her I definitely wasn't buying a house as who knows where I'll end up. She understands. W and our sitch didn't really come up at all, at least not directly.
Brought SD back home and her friend was there waiting for her. Talked to friend for a moment and when I saw W I said I'd take the chard she offered. She went out in the garden to pick it, which confused me. Turns out SD didn't get the text I replied back. We jokingly argued for a minute until W came back in. W then asked if I'd take some squash soon, as it's overrunning the garden. Looks like I have my produce set for a while. Wished W and SD a good camping trip, told everyone it was nice to see them, but even nicer for them to see me and left holding my Swiss Chard like a bouquet.
When I got in my car, I noticed a car idling in front of the house. Pulled out of the driveway, didn't see the driver, but noticed the CA plates. OM just got a car from his parents in San Diego. Coincidence I'm sure... I got a little extra kick knowing I came out of the house all smiling and with fresh garden vegetables. I wonder if OM ever gets jealous?
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Full on journal mode here - just to warn you, this may get long, so keep that back button handy!
I'm going to start this weekend's story from the middle of Saturday. I was driving to Toronto (from mid Michigan) to see a concert. It felt like events were conspiring against me! It took 1h40 to cross into Canada, the service centre I was going to use for gas was closed, and I had to make a last second decision on how to get downtown when a freeway sign said the road was closed ahead. No GPS, large scale maps, fortunately, I chose correctly. In the past, I'd have freaked out about all of this, now I was just mildly annoyed.
One very hard part in all of this is that it will be 7 years next weekend that W and I took our first road trip to Toronto. It'll also be 7 years this Thursday that we first ML (yes, I'm a sucker for dates). We always talked about going back but never did. The drive really gave me a lot of time to think and I was pretty sad for a lot of the drive. Might explain the next paragraph.
I'm not proud of any of this and I know I deserve all of your 2x4s. Well, I look and feel like I already got them. I drank way too much Saturday night at the concert and after. A lot of the night is fuzzy. I do remember trying to pick up women at a few bars, which is a 180 but not really one I planned on. Because of the excessive drinking, I fell and scratched up several parts of my body, including scrapes on my face (attractive) and I may lose a fingernail (but nothing broken, I think). I think I knew this, but it really hit me that I've been self-medicating myself with alcohol lately and I have to stop. More than the physical pains, it hurts knowing what I'm doing to myself.
I woke up late the next day and drove to Montreal (somewhere I've always wanted to visit). Montreal is a big party town, but I had no desire for any of that. I did wander around a lot though. The International Jazz Festival was playing a block from my hotel, and I finally realized one small dream of mine by eating poutine in Quebec. Yes, I know that's sad I also thought to myself that W would have liked it there, but in a more detached way.
Drove home yesterday, it was long but uneventful. Border crossing was trivial compared to Saturday and I concentrated on driving and being one with the road instead of my sitch. Road trips do that for me.
OK, I like to end positively, so let's start with Saturday morning. I was supposed to be up to 9 miles running for my half-marathon training. I hadn't been running much due to being sick, so I didn't think I could do it. I actually ran 8 1/2 miles and it wasn't *too* hard. I also ran with a few other people and talked to them, which again is a 180 for me as I'm slow to open up and don't like smalltalk.
Oh, one last thing... I have black dress shoes still at W's house that I need to get for wedding this weekend. I'm trying to be as dark as I can with her, but I think I'll need to arrange picking them up. I don't think my brown shoes will go with grey pants Part of me wants to arrange with SD to pick them up, but realistically I need to man up and contact W myself. Ugh.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Considered that Alamo. Black dress shoes is not something I wear often, so I'd rather not buy new ones if I don't have to.
I'll probably end up emailing W to arrange a time to stop by. I'm going to see W on Saturday anyhow (she was invited to the wedding too), so there's no real reason (besides being dark) to avoid talking to her this week.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
You could also don your "cloak of invisibility", sneak in the house and roll a d20 against magic sight...
That may be the most practical advice I've ever received. Of course, my dungeon dice are somewhere in W's basement, so I'll have to look at plan B. Payless shoes it is
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
I'm glad you realized that self medicating yourself with alcohol is a lose/lose situation. When H first left, I couldn't sleep so I turned to Tylenol pm and Benadryl to help me sleep. I guess I just didn't want to have to feel anything. Before I knew it, I was taking up to 6 Benadryl a night, and sometimes also taking Tylenol. I would wake up in the morning and could hardly hold my head up. I realized that unless I wanted to be on an episode of Intervention I needed to stop. I haven't taken any type of sleep aid in over a month and I am proud of myself. Good for you for realizing it also.
I would just ask W to send the shoes with SD next time you visit her. That way you don't have to see her.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I'm an idiot. I've been reading both your and BeTheMan sitch's so I accidentally typed in his initials instead of yours. Sorry. My comment was intended for you though.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
No worries DG, I hadn't even noticed the typo til you said something.
I can't imagine taking that much benadryl, I'm surprised you were able to move at all! One usually keeps me asleep for the night, but yes, I feel groggy for a while in the morning. I don't like to take it (or any other sleep meds) for too long, I'm concerned about my body learning to 'need' the meds.
SD doesn't have her car here so she couldn't easily bring anything to me, including shoes. I ended up going to Payless, guess someday I'll have two functional pairs of black shoes. Still don't have my dungeon dice though
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
I also thought to myself that W would have liked it there, but in a more detached way.