I just posted a long intro and it disappeared, very odd. I may shorten my intro a bit this time.
I've been M 18 yrs and T 20 with 2 children. 5 years into my marriage H had an EA turned PA. We separated for a year and I filed for divorce. Right before it was final, we reconciled.
Recently, we have been having some issues. H has some alcohol and substance issues. In the past few years, he has placed me in uncomfortable situations due to this. In the beginning of this year, I put my foot down and this has not happened since (the situations). I have stopped discussing his alcohol and submstance with him. Doesn't get me anywhere.
Past few months have been heated arguments and cooling off, only to revisit the same argument. The kids are sick of it, and I suggested they hear too much and we need counseling. He agreed not to fight in front of them but does not believe in counseling at all.
He has been distancing himself from me and not as affectionate as he was before.
Since reading here I have been GAL but that bothers him and causes a fight, he said "every time you go out I will also to keep it even", not the most mature response but he was drinking at the time.
I have stopped discussing the R, that is only in the past few days so we will see how that pans out but it seems to be working for many of you.
I hope to save my marriage and do love him very much, just not the behavior..mine and his. I am seeing some bad patterns in myself that need attention too. It will only help me in the long run.
