I don't come to the forums often, and have been away for a few weeks now, but I wanted to say how much I have appreciated the encouragement and suggestions in my stand, particularly those directed to me specifically. Thanks to MMF for everything, including providing a thread for discussion of standing for Biblically-based reasons. It's nice to have some company on this "narrow path."
Standing until the cows come home, or one of us stops breathing ....
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
For the sake of this discussion, I wanted to ask the following:
Is there anything your wayward/MLC spouse could do, or any effect upon your emotional well-being, or any effect upon your children (if applicable to your sitch), that would make you reconsider your "stand-at-all-costs" position?
I'm curious if this "standing" thing is completely unconditional, or if there are ANY boundaries that you would consider.
It bothers me only to the extent that I hate seeing people in pain, IF it can be prevented (or mitigated somewhat, by different strategies and tactics). Especially when there are children involved.
I'm trying to understand how far in the extreme your position goes. If you don't want to answer, I understand -- it's really none of my business.
I think it was when Jenny Jones was on trial for something happened to one of her guests on one of her wilder and more provocative shows, she was asked by the opposing counsel if ANYTHING -- topic-wise -- had ever been proposed to her, that she refused to do a show on, out of principle. He was trying to determine what limits or boundaries, if any, she had.
Starsky - I hesitate to answer because I still have the feeling my husband knows I'm on this site. I understand how you feel about seeing people in pain but we are trusting God to get us (and our families) through all of the pain and that when we get to the other side of this MLC it will be worth it. When I stopped worrying about boundaries I felt a deeper peace in my journey.
Starsky, we are trusting God to help us through this time. I feel stronger with Him in control of my life. And you don't have to worry about my children. Mine are nearing adulthood and their lives aren't in danger. Emotionally they are hurting but they know that I am a safe place.
I have one strategy and one set of tactics and that is to lean on God and scripture.
