Well, I don't mean to sound defensive. I'm more concerned with being accurate, but I realize that there is just so much that has gone on over the years and, really, there's no point in rehashing it all.
We're not getting into fights. I'm not sure where you get that from. We get along fine, but there is no relationship anymore.
For several years I read the books, tried everything. The only thing that really worked for me was GAL because, well, it really was and has been for me. I am sad the marriage is over but I'm not a wreck over it because I do have a life and I do have a clear conscience because I know how much I put into this marriage. However, I'm simply no longer going to put any serious effort into a relationship with someone who has constantly lied, manipulated, and used and not ever really changed much. I made this clear to her years ago when we got into MC. Again, while I followed through, she did not.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you've said, and I'm certainly not "above" being challenged, but I guess I'm a little confused as to why you're doing it.
I didn't come here asking for help in saving the marriage. I came here to begin dealing with the reality of our divorce, and if I'm coming across as defensive it may also be because part of my motivation for being back here is to bear witness to the fact that GAL'ing works and once you do it you're much more prepared to deal with everything that happens from a position of personal strength. However, it seems to me that you have jumped on a comment or two about my attitude you don't like, and have tried to turn this into something it's not.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
I'm not particularly worried about saving your M either. I've said that repeatedly. The point is to work on your issues with Rs with a significant other. They will NOT go away with the D. A benefit MIGHT (but probably not) be that W will change her behaviors. But, it isn't really about her.
I do appreciate the input, and don't mean to be combative, but it's like from your vantage point you're only seeing one part of the elephant, but are frustrated with me because I drew a picture of the whole animal, and it doesn't jive with what you think you see. Maybe it's the other way around, that's certainly possible. However, my attitude has to be that I've done a lot of work on myself, have done a lot for my wife and for my family, and if she isn't interested, then that's simply her choice and I have to accept it. And I can.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
(((((((((((((((TL))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((LN))))))))))))) my fav people!!!! how could I have missed this post? I'm sorry to see you here my dear TL, and you don't have to defend your every post, to all who know you we know you are a fighter, you are not a half-way kind a guy and that you hanged on and fought for your M with all you've gotten. Sadly, she is in another state of mind, it's hard to DB for the newbies and not have expectations of this and that. You are well beyond that, and you know that, and I totally respect where you are now... as there comes a point when one needs to stop following someone walking away from us (Lord knows I did that one too many times).
It's a blessing you got to be with your kids til now, you have done very well, and as anti-DB this might sound, it might be time to walk away from this M, and I only say this because TL has pieced for years and fogiven what other men might seen unforgivable, there is nothing he hasn't done.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat! Glad to see you're still around. I'm surprised to see you in the Big D I thought things had been on the upswing there for a while...til I dropped off the face of the internets.
Sorry to hear about all that's happened, that I've missed...but you sound better than ever
What about 'root'...she still around and about?
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
hey battle buddy... I guess I was still piecing when you left, then all went to heck in a handbasket, lol, long story, he went back to crazy gf, we S, then got sick of crazy gf, married an even worse gf and is D'ing her now and she is making his life heck... and I'm fine, thank you:) God has been merciful and has healed me...
Now, about root, dang it... what was the full screename? sorry, it's been a while! I do see Aud on FB
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
of course! lol, dear root... for a while she'd come to check on me here on D, then I didn't see her again... will drop ya a line!
I hear you about posting here... this was a great place to fall and vent when we were pretty broken, seems we learned a thing or two
For the record, oldtimer, the one who posted and made several suggestions on your post game me some of the best advice... the greatest was to buy ex off our house...boy did I do it on time! money hungry new W made him go bankrupt and he'd prob tried to get me out of this house... anywho, for a good novel check my 2008 posts, lol, can't believe it I made it this far...well, I do... all credit goes to God, who through this site and friends I made here and his peace healed me.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
