Ok. So me and my wife have recently seperated. We have been married for 6 years, together 7. Heres the problem, about a month ago I was told that she wanted to seperate. The reasoning behind this is she says I have treated her badly, verbally that is, and I do admit I have called her about every name in the book at one time or another. Also she says that I do not helpo out enough with our 3 kids, 4, 2 ,and 1. I beg to differ myself with this but OK so be it. She tells me she has not been in love with me for about six months now. She says she wants the man she married, she wants space, and wants to be happy. She also says she has a huge hole in her heart that may never filled. She says she wants to build her confidence back up. I am trying to honor all this but seem to find myself hovering around her or calling daily still. I am literally madly in love with her, more than she will ever know. We have been to marriage counseling together, and I have seen a psychologist twice myself. Her terms were this: seek help for myself( anger management), marriage counseling, and try to quit smoking. She wants me to change my ways. By the way we almost seperated like 2 1/2 years ago due to a similar situation which apparently I have messed up. She says she doesnt know if she can let me back in her life because she doesnt want me to go back to the same person. Believe me I have changed. I literally want nothing more than my wife and kids. its driving me crazy. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!
1 - You'll get alot more support and responses in New Comers; not saying you can't post here; just saying you might not want too if you're looking for adivce and support.
2 -
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Her terms were this: seek help for myself( anger management), marriage counseling, and try to quit smoking.
She wants you to seek help with anger issues AND quit smoking? hrnmmm...I'd ask her to pick one with the promise to work on the other, if you're making BIG changes in your life best to focus on 1 at a time. And Anger and Quitting Smoking can feed each other.
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Believe me I have changed.
Believe me,don't trust anyone who says believe me. ; )
I don't. Not yet.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
You can tell her you've changed til you are blue, but she will not believe you, SHOW her, actions are louder than works. I know women yearn for men to offer help, whereas a man won't ask unless he needs something (yes, I'm generalizing, but for the most part this is true). Are you helping daily? are you offering help? does she have "me" time? little ones are draining, have her go do something just for her... she needs to be a happy woman so she can be a happy mother and wife.
Hope you are still sening your psychologist, once or twice won't do.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
