Michele talks about the stages of marriage in The Marriage Map (see above). It is similar to management training I've been through that describes the stages of a team: Form, Storm, Norm, Perform (and maybe even Transform). (Tuckman)
Management training describes how this starts all over again when someone new joins the team. The phases are 'living', when new folks join, or the organization restructures, or someone is promoted, the dynamics change. The lines may even be blurred across the phases.
The same things happen when you are DBing. If you start making even positive changes and are getting baby steps, you can expect some 'storming' to happen. This does NOT mean you are stepping backward. You are just 'storming'. (or 'What was I thinking'...and 'Everything would be great if You changed'). There is negotiation to be done, but it isn't necessarily time to change the direction in which you're going. It doesn't mean stop the things that were building your relationship, even if on a friendship level that were allowing you to 'form' again.
If you spouse is connecting with you when they weren't before, you are doing something right even if it doesn't feel like the whole enchilada. Don't let others sway you from what is working.
If you need help figuring this out...check in with a DB Coach--an expert in figuring out where you are at, negotiating, and getting unstuck.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
