Thanks Hopeforgood, I have been trying to do a lot of thought blocking lately. I have joined the apa pool league and trying to keep myself busy. Its just been hard because this has been going on for 6 months now. My work and school life looks better than my personal life.
I'm tempting at this place and they are impressed with my work and want me hired on. I'm almost done with my bachelor's in psychology I should finish that by the end of this year. I have had NC with the H in a month I might as well go dark. I don't know how much of a difference it will make.
H is avoiding any contact with me since the OW (roommate) is now 2 1/2 months pregnant. I don't know if he is as excited as she is about it. She was on birth control she probably planned it and told him not to use a condom. Stupid Borderline personality disorder OW...grrrr...
I'm not going to worry about either one of them. I'm just going to stick to doing my puzzles, pool league, school, work, and hanging out with friends. I really do envy all of you that have been married longer than I have, I just wish I could make it that far. I know its not easy and takes a lot of work to get there.
M 27 H 27 M 1yr and 5mths together: 8yrs no kids separated since: 1/26/11 H filed and had me served: 7/6/11
It's been awhile since I have wrote anything on here. I have just been doing my own thing lots of GAL, school, and work. I hadn't talked to H in almost two months and then I got a text from him last week monday. He wanted to check on me and see how I was doing since I have been served with papers.
I laugh because for someone that had told me he is in a relationship with the roommate he is now wanting to be FWB with me.
I told him that I heard that him and the roommate were happy together and his response to that he is happy being that he is going to be a dad. That was about all he said about that.
I told him I was glad that I am not the one who was pregnant because I now see he would have gone somewhere else to satisfy his needs. He then tells me, if it was me he wouldn't go anywhere because he is talking to me.
I ended up meeting up with him thursday and we had a really good talk. He told me that no matter what happens he still cares about me. Of course, he had his hand on my cheek and was looking into my eyes when he said this. I'm not trying to read too much into our peacefully visit that we had. He looked like he missed the was I am with him and my holding his index finger locked in mine. He smiled when I did that when he looked at my hand.
He lingered a little before he left to go to a call for the business. He kind of stood there with the door open looking at me before he closed it. I left before he did.
I'm not sure if this is close to the end of this thing with her or not. Is it wrong for me to not her have a baby with my H? I guess I'll continue what I'm doing which is worrying about me and staying in my drama free zone. Any thoughts on this? 2x4s?
M 27 H 27 M 1yr and 5mths together: 8yrs no kids separated since: 1/26/11 H filed and had me served: 7/6/11
I don't know what I should do anymore when it comes to the H. He doesn't want anything to mess up his chances of seeing this kid that he and the roommate(OW) have worked on creating. She hasn't had it yet and I try not to even think about it. I know I can't control his actions or him but is there really any fixing this situation when it makes it this far?
The only thing I can say is atleast he had waited till after I was out of the house to get her knocked up. The time apart was supposed to be for us to fix what was wrong not for him to decide "hmmm....well the wife isn't in the house maybe I should act like I'm not married and get with the roommate".
I wish we could just take all the OW and OM and put them on an island somewhere away from our S so they don't have contact with them. Maybe then the S would see what they have right there infront of them.
I know I have become a person only a fool would leave. I am stronger than I was 8 months ago. I go out with my friends and have fun. I have ways of keeping myself busy. I can live life without the H. I am more confident in myself that what I have been in a long time. I know that only I can decide when my marriage is over. I can actually say that I am content with or without my H in my life.
Its been 7 months since me and the H first separated. I don't think I can get him to change his mind about going through the D process that he already got started. Is it bad that I don't even want to pray to save my marriage anymore because nothing has changed not even alittle bit?
It's sad...its out in the open that they are together and she is getting everything she wanted. She has my H and now she is pregnant with kid.(if it isn't someone else's)I don't get it...they are happy together and thats the reality they have for themselves. I'm out of their hair and out of the house so now they are free to do whatever they want.
Part of me wants to say its time to close the door on my M and maybe find someone else to be happy with. While the other part says it would be nice to stay married and reconcile before our next wedding aniversary.
M 27 H 27 M 1yr and 5mths together: 8yrs no kids separated since: 1/26/11 H filed and had me served: 7/6/11
I wish we could just take all the OW and OM and put them on an island somewhere away from our S so they don't have contact with them. Maybe then the S would see what they have right there infront of them.
I know I have become a person only a fool would leave.
I KNOW the part in bold. For me that is. As far as the island concept with the comment in bold... Nah, I'd much rather have them figure it out on their own hard course and make that determination in their full reality. Putting them in isolation is making it easy.
Bottom line, we are worth more than "showing".
Not being a jerk, just have the attitude that "hey we are better than what WE were before". Their loss. We know how to be happy.
Every door that closes, there is a new one that opens.
