My husband and I went through a nearly a year of bad marriage (no one cheated, just drifted apart.) and the word divorce started to thrown out of my big mouth and one day he decided that's what he wants and that's the end of it.
During the first part, I did of course, all the wrong things, and cry and beg and pushed him further away. I found this site, tried the last resort, and worked a little on the surface. But seems to be a little too late. I think he might be seeing someone already. Although he denies it. I dated a little as well and we both knew. I don't think he was at all jealous.
He has moved out and got his own apartment. Still miserable though, from the way I can see it. He constantly tells me that he is trying to sort his life out one thing after another, then he will come back to try to be the best father to our son.
Frankly, what he said to me, I have already heard over and over and it sounds ridiculous to my own standards. I guess that's why we got ourselves in this situation from day 1.
I picked my self up from the gutter, get a life again, and people actually tell me I look happy. I am hopeful again in life.
Then, came ... the big guy. God.
A client of mine, called me out for lunch one day, and I thought he wanted to talk shop. So I went on and on.. until he told me, hey jasmine, I didn't ask you to come talk about this. I want to talk about your divorce.
I told him, I have tried everything under the sun to try to shave this marriage. And it's only gone worst. And I stopped trying. Let whatever happens happen. I have started seeing other people anyway. He started to tell me his story of how he turned his marriage around a year ago.
I have grown up believing in god but I am not a devoted christian. I rarely goes to church although I do blame myself for not going. Then something told me, I should go. Plus, my son is getting to an age that he could start attending sunday school. So I went. The people are very nice and prayed for me. Of course, they are all praying for my marriage.
I am soooooo confused!!! Should I ???? I just put it down after months of agony! I don't know if I should pick it up again, put my life on hold again and wait for him to make an U turn back home.
I want my family to be back together. I know we have problems, loads of them to overcome. but i do want it. But if its not something do-able. I dont want to go through the drama again. I can't handle it one more time. I hate having the feeling of putting my life and my son's life on hold and don't know what's coming up next.
We were originally scheduled to talk (what happened, what to do next, the divorce, how should we draft the settlement) last friday. We have been trying to schedule it for literally a month plus and finally he had the time for me. Guess what happened. His father died the day before. He found out and had to rush back.
While I can't tell you everything you should do, one thing you shouldn't do is put your life "on hold".
Being open to getting together again and continuing with your life are not mutually exclusive actions. In fact, leading your life and become a more fulfilled and happy person may actually help you reconstitute your marriage at some time in the future.
Just make sure your husband knows you are open to working things out, and then live your life.
divorced in 2003 Married in 12/2005 born 1948 wife born 1958 divorced in 2001
Yes but in my case, it is putting it on hold though. we are living in a foreign city right now, for 2 reasons. Work and each other. He's away from his home country I am away from my home city. The only reason why I am staying here, is so that my son could see my husband. I think if out of sight, his father will quickly have him out of mind as many man are like that. (he has another child back home from a previous relationship years ago and I see how little he's involved with her).
If we are no longer together, take our son out of the equation, I may very likely move back to my home town as my friends and family are all there. My job will be there as well. Putting my son back into the equation, it's probably better for him to be there also. He can have his grandparents spend more time with him rather than here, just the nanny who's not very educated.
But, since my H is in the picture. I have to plan him in. The way how he is about putting everything first in front of my son's needs, is really disgusting and I don't know why I want to stay here for him. If he's going to continue to only see him once every week for an hour, I might as well move back. That's what I mean by, putting my life on hold. I have already prepared for the worst in this relationship. I am just looking out for my kid's interest. Emotionally, I have already put it down. But now, I really feel like, how am I going to leave a door open for him without having to worry that I feel hurt again.
