Hi everyone, I'm brand new to this site, but have read Michelle's book which lead me here. My husband and I have been together for 13 years (married for 6) with two children (5 and 22months). We've always had our arguments over silly little things (in retrospect of course). My husband is NOT a talker at all - makes him sick to his stomach to have to talk about stuff. He had a hard time after the birth of our first son (first year with me nursing etc he just couldn't handle), but we got through it and had another little one. He had an even harder time with this baby as this little one needed far more attention. Definitely our marriage suffered - in my mind all the typical, new baby arguments driven mainly (imo) by major lack of sleep. About a year ago when the baby was less than a year we decided to see a counselor just to see if we could figure out a better way to work things out etc. Nothing dire. Anyways, he drops the bomb during those TWO sessions that he is not sure if he is still in love with me. blah blah.... Anyways, we only went twice and things actually improved and he apologized about what he said - that things had changed but he definitely still loved me etc. Fast fwd a few months later - we were still fighting a bit - nothing major in my mind, and he told me he wanted a trial separation. He said that was the only thing that he would consider - refused further counseling, refused to try to work things out etc etc. We've now been separated over 6 months and quite frankly, our life has been great. We are closer than ever, rediscovered our passion for each other, have not fought about a single thing. But we are still separated. We talk occasionally about our relationship but mostly I have just tried to give him his space etc, and follow all the tips from Michelle's books. Well I finally approached him again this week about 'whats next' and he told me he can't imagine ever being happy with me again, and 'loving life together'. That as great as things have been, he doesn't see us being together. He STILL refuses further counseling. I'm kind of at my wits end thinking I just need to move on with my life and stop being so pathetic. Even though things 'seem' okay he has given me zero hope for a future together. He says he has no hope - I told him that it sounds like he has made his decision, and that I guess divorce was it. (really, everything he says tells me its completely over - I can't really be naive about this). He still continues to say that he doesn't know what the answer is, but that he can't see us being together. But he gets all uptight when I talk about divorce. I honestly have lost all hope here, and its tearing me apart as I really don't believe our life together is as 'unhappy' as he thinks it is. There has been no infidelity, we do love each other, (although I am in love with him, he is not in love with me he says), we are still totally attracted to each other, we have two VERY young children together, we are very good friends etc etc. The shock about it being completely over is really killing me right now. I can't stop crying (in private) and I just feel broken. But I am trying to stay strong for my babies. Any suggestions or even just plain old support would be so very much appreciated right now. Sorry about the long rambling post.
Apologize in advance - as I just submitted a second thread on the same topic that I am guessing will come up in a few days from now (I thought this original thread was lost so I typed up a new thread).
I answered you on your other thread. Hang in there, and don't bring up R talk if you can delay that. He's not moving to divorce you so that's something. Make sure you are alright legally though, but you don't have to tell him that. Knowledge is power. You don't have to do anything with what you learn, just to feel safer though. Anyhow, I wrote a tome on your other thread, so, see you there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
