I have gone through 4 seoeration, Each time h came back it was the same sob story as the ine he cave me for leaving, This fouth time was when I was burying my mother, I an in so much pain but he left the day I got home,He tokd me he was leaving, I was numbed with pain, I woke up to find all his clothes gone,'H IS STILL PLAYING HEAD GANES BY TEXTING ME, CALLING ME. LEAVING ON HIS WEDDIG RING BUT i have cut out all contct from him. if he didnt not learn the other three times he came home, I AM POSITIVE HE WILL THIS TIME WITH no contact, I THINK HE WILL HAVE A HARD TIME with THIS BUT THIS IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE kee
My mother also passed during my xh mlc It was a difficult time I was also numbed with like double pain..at the time somehow we do get through thou I remember my xh was so oblivious to my pain about my mother and his affair and decision to leave.. please just try to take care of yourself..try to eat, sleep, and rest peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
KEE, so sorry to hear your news. This is a tough time, take care of you.
Quote:
if he didnt not learn the other three times he came home, I AM POSITIVE HE WILL THIS TIME WITH no contact, I THINK HE WILL HAVE A HARD TIME with THIS BUT THIS IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE
Do you know what caused him to leave 3 times, and what brought him back 3 times?
What does KEE want?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Very sorry for your loss. I know it is almost as if your partner cannot stand for your attention to be elsewhere for even a moment. ( My 23 yo D is Bipolar ) As Seeking said, things are pretty quiet on the weekends here.
First, take it easy with the meds. I've worked with Docs for 20+ years, and I know you want something to take away the pain. The meds will only dull it, and dull your mind, as well. BE CAREFUL.
I applaud your decision to "go dark"( our term for no contact )but use it as a healing time for yourself, not as a punishment to your H. If possible, detach from you H and his problems and work on your grief over the loss of your mother. That is grief enough for any one person at a time.
Kee, I lost my mother when I was 14, and I know the pain. I also know that the feeling of loss never goes away. I do not know your beliefs, but I take solace in the belief that my mother is always there to watch over me in my darkest hours. Sometimes, when I am very, very quiet, I can feel my mother near me. I know right now that you are too lost in grief for this type of moment, but hang onto that thought as something to use in the future.
((HUGS))
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Hi All, So sorry for the typos. I have Lupus and the Dr prescribed some pretty powerful drugs to help me cope. Heres a recap of my situation. H and I were together 13 years. This is both our 2nd marriage so he is at the right age for MLC. H has left me now 4 times. The last time he left, we divorced. ( His choice/ not mine) I divorced busted and he ended up coming back and asking me to re- marry him. This was 4 years ago but we never re- married. H has many childhood issues, and each time he left he gave the speech. However, he continued to hang on to me by calling frequently and trying to remain friends. The last time he left, I was ready to move on. I was close to earning my degree and he came back, declaring his love for me. Each time he has left, he has said the same things, so it is such a cycle for him. Its like he wants me but then he doesnt
He admits to being depressed but will not seek help. He does little things to keep the door open, like wearing his wedding ring, but then he says cold and cruel things the next day. He does cycle. Just two days ago he came by with his wedding ring on telling me that he is in counseling and everything that I have said is the same thing his counselor is saying. I really do not think he is in counseling just a ploy to keep me hanging on. additionally, he said he loved me. This is what he has always done when he has ran. However, he has never resolved why he runs. This time, the stakes are higher as I may be moving home. He has asked me not to leave but i can not live here and afford it on my own. Therefore, I must go dark. I do not know if I want to save us. I am tired and weary. I know I need somewhere where I can talk
In answer to a question, no he is not on meeds but I think he needs to be. He admits this as well but then changes his mind quicky saying he will not put anything in his body.
