Enjoy yourself country, but don't get too wrapped up in the photos, although I have done my share of looking recently. Keep on doing what you are doing and stay focused on your goals.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
I admit it, I looked for happiness in the bottom of a bottle last night. Didn't find it. At least I have a crappy song and video to show for it.
Bright lights big city. Lets see what kind of trouble I can get into. Why do I admire Jim Morrison, Sid Vicious and Ian Curtis? I need to put self improvement ahead of self destruction. Baby steps.
Country, you sound like you are reeling and starting to lose focus.
Stay off the bottle dude, that will only compound your problems and make you more depressed the next day. YOU KNOW THIS!!!!
Baby steps my friend, all is not lost as long as you have your integrity and you do. I admire how you have handled this and she may see the positives in you. Its hard to say.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
You are in a bad place right now, I understand. I have stayed away from drinking for this same reason. I know I will hit bottom real quick.
"We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Country, I fooled myself into think a drink or two or more would help me relax and couldn’t hurt. So every night and twice as hard on the weekends was becoming the norm.
In my case I could become numb to the pain temporarily. It was always waiting for me to become aware of it again
My drinking solved nothing. I believe it actually prevented me from processing and dealing with my issues. I am no expert, but there is quite a bit of antidotal evidence indicating we continue to process issues while we sleep. I understand alcohol disrupts the sleep cycle particularly REM sleep when we dream.
Alcohol use was not a factor in the downward spiral W and my relationship took. I will not have it contribute to a personal downward spiral.
Neither should you. You are better than that. You know this is true. We have enough tough uphill battles to face and IMO, hobbling ourselves this way is counter productive.
Take a long hard look. Is this improving you or your sitch? Is this working? Do what works
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
It's called backsliding man. We all do it. Don't beat yourself up too much when you do it. It's like the stockmarket, the little dips are okay and long as it it still moving up. The spikes are pointless if the overall trend is down.
Keep moving forward bud, you can do this.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Country...I've had some drinks these past 2 weekends myself. Just don't let it be your remedy. We have to feel the pain to be able to move forward. My pain is what drives me to keep up my changes. You got this brother!
