Thanks for sharing more perspectives. I appreciate those thoughts. It does take time to get to the point were we are mentally healthy again. Many obstacles to overcome. We achieve something one day but then we lose it the next. It's when all achievements come together that we see the big picture.
I know for myself it took time.I think the most helpful mind set I had to help me was that I will survive this like so many others do too. The biggest downer for me that pulled me back so often was thoughts about the kids growing up from a broken home.
I know they will be fine. They have an awesome dad who will fight for there success.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
The biggest downer for me that pulled me back so often was thoughts about the kids growing up from a broken home.
I think this is the hardest thing for most of us. We all had a vision for the life we would give our children. We all want the absolute best for them. It then seems like all of that has been destroyed.
All we can do is continue to give them the best with the circumstances we are given.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
It then seems like all of that has been destroyed.
It appears that way.
Think of it this way: What would you be doing if your W passed away?
That helps me. I dont' talk bad about her with the kids. That's their mom and the kids hold high value to both parents, at least at a young age.
If that's the hardest thing to handle, make it first prioty to to overcome. Everything else is cream cheese(Teen Wolf too quote)
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Think of it this way: What would you be doing if your W passed away?
That would be something out of our hands. But sometimes i feel this is even worse because as the kids grow up, they will know that mom and dad live separately. Whats even worse is if and when a new man enters your ex's life and then becomes the new 'dad' to your kids. I cannot even fathom that thought
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
Think of it this way: What would you be doing if your W passed away?
That would be something out of our hands. But sometimes i feel this is even worse because as the kids grow up, they will know that mom and dad live separately. Whats even worse is if and when a new man enters your ex's life and then becomes the new 'dad' to your kids. I cannot even fathom that thought
I can't remember where right now, but I know I have read that D is actually harder on children than the death of a parent.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
It hasn't been destroyed because your daughter's future hasn't been written yet. What is gone is the version of how you thought it would play out. That's it. Just a vision, a hope.
I'm not going to minimize the impact of D on kids. Even under the best circumstances it's still a destructive force. But I look at my own family for inspiration.
My Dad cheated on my mom and ended up leaving her for the OW. He left her with 5 kids ages - 11, 9, 6, 6, 4. Child support was pretty crappy back then too. My mom work full-time. All 5 of us kids went to college, 2 went to law school. Between us we have 2 lawyers, an architect, a teacher and a nurse.
I have no doubt your Ds future is bright.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
