New and saying hello

[~¤DG¤~]

I dont know why, but there are times where I am paralyzed with intense fear that he may meet someone while we are apart.
I know he says he loves me, but I just don't know. He hasn't given any indication that he wants to come home, and I don't want to push. I just get so scared that he might meet someone.
Irrational, I know.

[Michael M]

I know how you feel totally. I worry because I know how crappy of a person I was. BUT, I have to trust her and I will.

[~¤DG¤~]

Ok so I made a mistake yesterday that I know I shouldn't have made.
We were texting about his work because he was upset about something and I made the mistake and texted "I love you"
And he just replied "Love U 2" and that was it.
Later, he texted me "I heart you" but not I love you so now I am beating myself up for saying it in the first place because I knew I shouldn't.
I guess I am just scared that if I don't reach out he will think I don't care.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things, I don't know.
I'm just having a bad, emotional morning.

[jbnati]

Yeah, you probably made a mistake, but don't beat yourself up about it. Just learn from it.

I know it's hard to cut out the I love you's. It something I did very, very early and it was extremely HARD. But I also didn't want to push my W away. They already know this, but when you say it, it reminds them they don't feel the same way RIGHT NOW.

Sounds like it may be helpful for work on your GAL. I can speak from experience that it will do wonders for your mental health.

[~¤DG¤~]

Yeah- I really do need to. I am trying to keep busy, but maybe I am not busy enough.

[Brian in Hville]

On weekends...go out with friends every night! That helps. On weekdays it is much harder, so I have started doing things like Power 90, walking, talking with family, etc..The weekdays seem to be the hardest days to think about something else...but it needs to be done.

[~¤DG¤~]

I share custody of my kids with their Dad and they spend every other week with him so I have 2 weeks a month to myself.
When they are gone, I am gone pretty much every day spending time with friends.
I don't see my family too much though, they are kind of negative people and tend to suck the life out of me so I avoid them at all costs.

I realized after reading Denver's thread that I haven't been doing 180's for me, I've been doing them for my H and to save our M and I realize now that I can't be doing that.

[jbnati]

Is spending time with your friends when you don't have your kids something new and/or out of character for you? Is there something new you may like to try?

I have kind of noticed some the GAL can resemble a 180 at times.

[Brian in Hville]

DG..Yes, all of your changes must be for you...If they aren't, it's a good bet they don't stick. Whenever you do something, ask yourself, "Would I want do this even if my S never came back?" This is a good indication if you are doing things for him or for you.

[jbnati]

I agree with Brian. It is VERY important to ask yourself this question:

"Would I want do this even if my S never came back?"