I mean, I feel like this concept is really true. When I write down all of my H's behaviors, they seem pretty conflicting, but the ones that are the most negative are things he says (i.e. "I'm done", "we can share custody of our daughter", "I don't want to take my f@cking ADHD meds"), and the positive baby steps are almost always in the form of actions (i.e. taking his meds despite what he said, spontaneous calling me to update me on his schedule, coming home earlier). Not to say he hasn't said some things that I wish were true and don't know if they are (i.e. "I was wrong, I DO love you", "I want to work things out"), but I feel like his actions are much more clear. His words are so contradictory and literally change by the hour, but actions are a little more subconscious, IMHO.
I mean, the thing that shows me that this may not be really over is he's made NO attempt to contact any type of lawyer or file papers. And he hasn't made an attempt to contact me in the past few days (he's staying with his folks), but when major conflict arises, this is always his M.O., to bury his head in the sand and pretend it's not happening. So I'm not trying to take it as a bad thing that is specific to our marriage. This is how he handles conflict in general.
