Letters to our beloved S that they will never see

[angel61]

I was reading one of the posts here and thought it would be great if we could have a thread on letters to our spouses that we would never send any way - mushy ones, loving ones, angry ones.

Just for catharsis, laughs, 2x4's, poetric license, etc!

Let me start with one:


Written the day before V-day:

My Dearest H,

Thank you for listening to me, hard as it was. Right now, I do not have clarity of thought and words, especially when speaking. I have too many thoughts swirling in my mind, and I know you understand why.

You are right, I have asked too many why’s in my life. Questions that will remain unanswered, in many cases, till I die. No wonder you get frustrated with me, and why sometimes this has really caused more harm than good.

I will try not to ask too many questions.

Thank you for seeing that our life together was not a lie. The last 13 years we did not know any better. We worked hard, in earnest, to improve it. We are successful in many aspects – we have good jobs, have a wonderful, beautiful daughter who is smart, have a beautiful home. We want D12 to remember that she had a beautiful childhood – a happy one. How could she remember it as being happy if can’t even allow ourselves to remember?.If we have to make excuses for our behavior by consigning our past to a mistake? Are you afraid that if you allow yourself to think of the good things, it will make you feel love for me again? Is that why you feel pressure when I talk about those beautiful memories? Will our old memories tarnish and compete with your memories of your new love? Inside me are these questions that I have for you that I will never ask anyways because I already know the answers, and someday I know you will too

Thank you also for wanting to be there for both of us. For letting me know you commit to helping me find purpose in my life outside of you. For wanting us to have all that we can have, materially. For wanting to support us. I hope that you will not change your mind.

Thank you for admitting that we still are physically attracted to each other. This I think is a big step towards getting close again. It is how we started before.

Thank you for being a man of God. Let Him lead your heart and you will find your way.

Let me lay our marriage at His altar.

The strength of my love for you amazes me.

Angel

[Lorie1964]

Beautiful Angel!

[PEI]

Hey Angel ...

You sound good girl!

Just wanted to pop in and say that back last summer, when I was having trouble keeping my mouth shut around H, or was really stressed out trying, I bought myself a journal, taped his pic on the inside cover and titled the journal with H's name. I wrote to that journal like it was him.

Saved me many times.

Peace
PEI

[angel61]

Hey PEI, long time no hear! That my purpose for this thread! Maybe others would us it too and we could all comment.
Yes, i do need to be saved from myself, many times. I actually just made a mistake of confiding something to a mutial friend who told H, and so now I have to find a way to hold my tongue as well. No more confiding to mutual friends.

Yes, I would say though that these past 2-3 weeks have put me in a better place.

All your advice, and everyone who has ever been through my sitch, is now really sinking in and I am getting there. You, Grace, walking, cat, lorie, Alb, even Scyalla with her dark moments....and some others in newcomers, LIS, the BITS - all part of my life now. Big group hug to all!

[angel61]

oops, I didn't spell check and I am typing in the dark, sorry for all the typos