So I have posted on here before. My husband is a WAS spouse whom I suspect is going through some sort of identity crisis. He is far from middle age however his actions/words are IDENTICAL to that of a MLC-er. Of course our marriage was not perfect, but the bomb totally blindsided me and left me picking up the pieces. I am finally at a point where I am not crying every day and just trying to accept that he was not happy and "not in love with me anymore." I have been supportive of him even though I am going through hell myself. Some days he says that he doesn't see us reconciling and others he seems very confused about his decision to uproot both of our lives entirely.
Here's the big question; he recently found an apt which is more expensive than what he can afford. Prior to this he was living with him mom and was able to help support me financially. I am a student and the plan was that he would take care of things until I graduated and started my career. His decision has left me in a bad situation. Luckily this is my last semester. I can get a little job to help with bill but I am still going to need financial support. Because of this new apt, he is crying broke and saying that he wont be able to give me money monthly. What am I supposed to do? I believe that part of the reason that he left was because the financial burden became too much for him. This past year and a half has been the ONLY time in the 9 years that we were together that I didn't work. In the beginning he was the one who encouraged ME to leave my job and focus on grad school. He said that I should "allow him to be a man and trust that he could handle things." I must say; it felt good being taken care of for once. I was able to focus on my studies; pull in straight A's along with grants and scholarships which helped out a bit. But I know that the stress of taking care of ALL the bills began to take a toll on him. I sensed that it was becoming too much for him and started searching for a job but it was very difficult to find something. I bring all this up to say that though I want to save my marriage, I still have to be able to take care of myself. I am thinking about taking him to court for spousal maintenance. I know however that this will not help me in the long run. I understand that I can not be COMPLETELY passive in this situation though. I will say, that he is not asking for anything from the apt, I am keeping the car and he will pay the phone bill. Should I just leave the situation alone? I have some grant money that would pay a few months rent and I guess I could get a job to start saving for summer rent and utilities. I KNOW that holding things down on my own would work towards my advantage as far as possibly saving my marriage. However why should I have to bear the brunt of his crisis, both emotionally AND financially. I am actually depressed because of this whole situation and its hard for me to even focus on my school work let alone find and keep a job. What should I do. Should I just tell him, "no worries, I'll hold down things on my own" and just go dark or should I fight for what I need to help me survive? How does DB go along with what I am entitled to?
Please HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok here's the deal.
Me: 27 H: 27 M:5 years Together: 9 years No Children Bomb: 1/1/11 ILYNILWY & Wants Separation Moved Out: 1/30/11 Has not filed yet but says that he does not want to reconcile
