I have been piecing with my H for 3 years and things are really getting hard on me. I love him, but he is always drinking or at the bar 3-7 hours a night. he is not wearing his wedding band AGAIN (says he has lost it.....again), he watches porn every morning while I am still asleep in bed and he doesnt want to touch me lately, snaps at me, and is disinterested in my life. He is also bi-polar. AUUAAAAHHHHGGG!!! NOT AGAIN< is all I can think. I dont want to loose him. we get along great most the time. He is just out of control right now and I dont know how to react. Last night we had a blow out fight, cause he kept saying "he was worried I will kick him out and I hate him", I said "your worried??? cause I am afraid your going to leave me again". We went to bed seperately, and this morning he said we will talk about it tonight. Some one help me, I am so scared!!!!!!!!! Thanks, TIPPER
Jack three beans, snowmm, & concerned listener: thanks for your responses, I really apprieciate the help. I dont get a lot of chances to get online anymore, so I have not been able to respond. But I really need your advice more than ever.
Two days ago, my H left me again. Its been three years, two were ok and I thought he was getting better at times, and at least i could deal with the drinking then. But this last year has been nothing but stress about the situation with his drinking. He's at the bars every night.I have also gotten laid off last june, so I am alone all day while he is out running his own roofing & construction business, He doesnt even come home in between work and the bars.
I have been making him dinners and eating alone a lot. I feel like I have gone insane. I have done every thing possible to fight for our Marriage, and he just goes off partying with out me. For a while, I was even going out to the bars to meet him so we would be able to hang together, But after a couple weeks I realized that is just not right and its not who I am. I stopped going to meet him out and now I will only go out with him on the weekends to watch bands or go bowling, ect...
He has said to me: If I stop drinking, then he will too. I dont have a drinking problem, I have an emotional roller coaster problem currently that makes me explode when I do get a few drinks in me. I couldnt believe he even suggested that. Even all my friends laughed when I told them what he said.
I do know that I need to attend al-anon. I am looking into my first meeting this week but they are not open till tommorow. I am scared and I dont want to go through this again. HELP!!!! Thanks, TIPPER
yes, the drinking was part of the problem the first time around also when he left me for the stripper that didnt even want him. Thats when he started going out to bars everynight was when he first left me. His drinking has gotten out of control lately since then.
I try to stay busy while he is out drinking. On tuesdays, I go bowling with my parents (which he used to also do, but not any more) and on thursdays I have an art night with my friends.And on some fridays - I attend bunco with a few of my girl friends. I have tried to go out to dinner more wiht freinds and family lately too. I dont just sit around all the time, but some nights I am home all day alone.
Yes, my H is working. He is actually a workaholic as well as an alcoholic because he own his own roofing business. As soon as he is off the roofs he is on the bar stool. I feel so rejected lately.
Your H is running the M on his terms, at your expense. I'm glad to hear about your decision to attend Al-Anon. You will hear advice, and be able to choose and modify what fits your stituation and willingness to experiment and take risks. This seems like a logical next step. You need to be empowered. He has you unbalanced.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
