A New Day?

[islander]

I want to stress how unexpected tonight was. I was absolutely sure she wanted to talk about the D.

We exchanged several texts today about her coming over tonight.

I asked her if she wanted me to cook us dinner.

She said she did not know how we were going to get along bc last time she stormed out (Feb 14)

She said she wouldn't mind dinner, but did not want to waste my time.

I asked if she planned on walking out.

She said not unless we argue and i try to make her feel guilty.

I told her I never tried to make her feel guilty, everything I said was the truth. if u felt guilty, that is all u.

She said if she feels like sh!t, she is leaving.

I said see you at 5.

-----------

On the 14th, I did DB, but then I also spoke the truth with love (not exactly DB, but I felt I needed to---read that post)

I know that last week, W went to her parents house crying and was stressed. She had not been there to talk to them in almost 3 months. She led them to believe that she was not as happy as she thought she would be, but also indicated she wasn't going to work on our M. She also said that I did not do anything wrong in our M per se, and that she had not done anything to work on it either. It was a rollercoaster, but her parents did say that they believed she still loved me.

I am on a slippery slope right now, and very scared about falling. But, I will take tonight for what it was. PROGRESS.

[islander]

I think your right Bond, time to rebuild our friendship. I think that is the easy part, we have always gotten along very well. No more going Dark, but I will let her initiate all contact. We are going to go out to dinner Sunday night with our girls.

[shaves]

Islander, THat is so sweet! I pray for you and your wife, that you get the strength and knowlege to tread lightly and work things out! I hope we all get that chance someday!

[Busting Mode]

Wow!!!

Bravo!

This thread is going to the top of my list for inspiration!

Only thing I might add is to continue being present, appreciative, confident...and be careful of the metaphors you are using.

What if you believed you were now on solid ground in terms of your awareness and abilities rather than being on a "slippery slope"?

Keep focusing on what you are doing well!

[islander]

My good nights sleep ended very early today. I woke up about 345am and could not stop thinking about last night, and praying that it was not a dream.

As far as being on a slippery slope, I say that because I was put up there by my W. It will become more stable with time, if her actions back up what she said last night. I do not act like I am on that slope with her, it is just the reality of where I am at emotionally right now. I am not on solid ground, but I think I can see it.

I will stay focused on my goal and what I need to do to get there. She told me several times last night she just needed a little more time, and asked me if that was ok. I told her that I wasn't going anywhere, and that was all we had was time.

[JustStunned]

Islander, this is fantastic. Good for you and your W.

I am not a vet here, but reading so many threads it seems as though there may be a pull back from the progress the two of you are making. You’ll have to gauge what is right for yourself, but IMO being supportive, available and encouraging would be a good environment to nurture further progress.

Please don’t pressure.

[islander]

I agree with you that there may be a pullback, but I can not worry about that to much. I am just aware that it may happen. I think she told her mom this morning that she was going to work on our M.

I am not going to pressure her. We had a great talk last night and I am going to ride it out. I will let her contact me and be there for her when she reaches out. I am not going to contact her so that she can have her space. It has been working well. It really helps that we had a good relationship b/f the fallout. We have a lot to build on...WE just need to find our way back there.

[JustStunned]

I am not going to pressure her. We had a great talk last night and I am going to ride it out. I will let her contact me and be there for her when she reaches out. I am not going to contact her so that she can have her space. It has been working well. It really helps that we had a good relationship b/f the fallout. We have a lot to build on...WE just need to find our way back there.

Perfect

[islander]

quick update:


W sent me a text this morning saying that she had to tell me something, but she again did not want to get my hopes up.

W said that she ended A with OM, he had moved out, and she was now on her own. W said that she wanted to be alone for a couple of weeks to clear her head, then start going to counseling with me and on dates.

I said ok, but I thought our best chance was for her to move in sooner than later and really focus on our M, but that it was her choice.

W said that she just needed a little more time, and that she was now seriously thinking about us.

I left it alone at that point, and will just let her be for now. I did not want to push her, but just said what was on my mind (one time, not repeatedly, badgering, or pressuring).

Just left the gym and had 2 good workouts in a row. Now I am going to relax the rest of the day and see what happens.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement.

[Queen_of_Swords]

OOOOOH Yah baby!
The door opens a little wider.
DB your behind off Islander. You go!
I'm rooting for you!