The wife gave me the ILYBNILWY two weeks before xmas and asked for a legal seperation, DIHL response was why not just get a divorce (oops)! She said ok can we wait til after the holidays. Week later I wrote the Love letter and she said she needed some space, she was lost. Week later she said we wants D. I waited a week and did the the wrong thing by saying we have something very special and she replied " yes we have a very special friendship and we have to go our seperate ways" Again I said well you might as well file asap so you can get on with your life. She works for a lawyer and knows all the in-outs of how this works. I agreed to be civil and she filed w/out using Attorneys. Split the debt and prop. 50/50. No kids. She dropped off the papers and I stalled for a couple weeks but she asked if I would please sign them cause alot of people file for D after the Holidays and the longer we wait the more time it would take. Unlike alot of posts I've read we as a couple very seldomly argue or even disagree. Intamcy has lacked for awhile and infidelity is not the issue here. I guess the real issue is that I chose do alot of things on my own instead of including her ( fishing,hunting,etc.) And that along w/ lack of intamcy slowly pulled us farther and farther apart. I wasn't there for her when she needed me and one time in particular, a surgery in which I was to go on a trip and asked if her mother could fill my shoes. Since I knew how close her family is and she said it would be ok, I felt I was leaving her in good hands.Come to find out this is the biggest reason we have to go our seperate ways. She says she has forgiven me but cannot forget. This is hard for me to understand because I'm very laid back and have always believed that to forgive means to no longer hold a gudge,let go of the pain as hard as it may be and to understand that people make mistakes. I don't mean to ramble so my situation now is one and only court date is already set for May 18th. This is going way to fast for me. I've been doing DB'n without even knowing what is was til I found this site. She also does taxes for all my friends so she comes back to town once a week (lives 1hour away) to do that and see our dog. We have very little small talk when she is here, (I always act busy with something) and it is always friendly. Other than that we text each other but only about financial stuff. This is one of those "Don't know what ya got, til it's gone" situations. I just ordered DR and it will be here Wed. Everyone in her family except her dad thinks this is a big mistake. We are (were) the couple everybody thought would be the last to D. Time is not on my side here. Still have hope but preparing for the worst. Your thougts and experiences would be appreciated. Thanks in advance never lose sight of whats most important to you!
Sorry you are in this situation. Hang in there. Even after the divorce is final, you can still DB. The people here are very helpful and supporting. They will give you great tips as to what to do.
