Aw c'mon Faith, she's in the same house. I can't freakin' avoid her.
But don't get me wrong, I have no problems with my seratonin (like night and day compared to six months ago). I'm happy and content. In fact, because I accept that she'll be in her fog for a very, very long time, I'm pretty darn close to being like Gloria Gaynor^^^.
Interesting thing is though, I've given her everything she wanted, divorce, money from the house, let her remain at home with the kids (in my bedroom no less) and still, although she's civil and businesslike, she remains very distant and guarded. There's still an air of tension, but I guess that's normal. IDK.
I just hope she doesn't misconstrue my behavior and positive attitude as in some way pathethically hoping and waiting for her to "come around", 'cause I really wish she'd move out and give me my bed back.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Divorced, done, house settled, and you're still living in the same house? I'm only 3 1/2 months into my situation and I'm half-wishing my W would move out.
You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
...I just hope she doesn't misconstrue my behavior and positive attitude as in some way pathethically hoping and waiting for her to "come around", 'cause I really wish she'd move out and give me my bed back.
It's quite possible she feels that way, that's why she's guarded, she thinks you are possibly trying to change her mind.
If you can come up with that possible scenario on your head, isn't it possible that she could be thinking the same thing in her head?
I'm sorry. I think in the same vein as 'what you resist, persists', giving her what she wanted will 'work'. You are free, and yet you don't seem to feel free because of your faith. And yet you are REALLY free--to be yourself. To really be and do all that you want to be and do. She will probably find you irresistible then, although you might not find her so much so. She may have to 'DB' YOU.
I hope it goes that way and I hope you find peace and joy. And more of the growth that you've discussed on your threads.
Pickle: I am moving into the situation you are currently in over the next few months, although with no kids. In fact, I sign the D or S papers tomorrow, and I guess I am a bit freaked out by it.
Doing my best to GAL, attempting to drop the rope. Need to move forward.
Question: when do you give up hope?
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Thanks, db. Still taking things one day at a time. You're projecting things way into the future. And I am open to one day flip flopping things as you describe.
But now we both have more issues than we began with: what with the OM and all, so it's gonna take time, years may be. I am embarking on a phase of my life that I fully intend to enjoy. Not getting any younger you know.
Yesterday at mass I heard a still small voice, "Be a saint". I know what that means. God that's gonna be so hard! But if I fall off that horse, I'll just climb back on.
Someone once said: "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Someone once said: "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Pickle, I've never posted on your thread, but I've been around here for what seems to me to be a loooooong time. Thank you for this quote. I needed it today. I'm not ready to quit.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
You only know "when" if you can see into the future.
If you cannot foresee the future, you'll never really know "when".
So - you give up hope when you decide to give up hope.
But hoping doesn't mean you stop living.
It only means you are still open to the possibility of reconciliation - "one day perhaps".
Yesterday, I visited a close fishin' buddy of mine in the hospital. He's dying of cancer and may not last another week. He's all shrivelled up and resembles a corpse already. All I could do was pray with him for a few minutes.
Don't freak out ac; divorce and seperation won't kill you or make you permanantly ill.
Live man. It's time to live - all of us!
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
