At the last stop

[christienick]

i think ex getting remarried would be closure for most

[Orchid37]

Yeah. Good Point.

[Orchid37]

I know it may seem strange to most that I am having trouble, but well, I am. I am making large changes in accepting this new and sudden change I have been handed. I guess I am using this board to relieve some stress and also.....at times, my mind feels so....filled with facing, negative thoughts. Its difficult to not be able to have any place to vent out this frustration.

I have been dealing with this entire situation for 2 yrs, but mentally and psychologically, I always kept faith and hope. To have that completely snatched from you is traumatic. So, yeah...I get it, its closure....just trying to catch my emotions up to my brain.

Today I kept myself so busy I am exhausted. Met a friend for a spa day and it was really great.....wish I could do that more often, but it is so expensive.... Couldn't believe it was over....:)

Then, spent the day shopping and today I tried to find some physical activity classes that I can get involved in......

All in all, only cried and panicked once today....and I called a friend and went out for a walk on the track ASAP! It was really helpful!

Just tracking my day and my progress. I will chalk today as a successful day....Yeah!

[christienick]

i think exercise helps. even the DB book, remember, there is a section where michele says life is short, and there might be a time to give up and find something better, once youve exhausted all possiblities

[Orchid37]

Well, its settled. Got an email today. She is pregnant and he is going to try to work things out with her.

My journey with him officially ends today. Talk about closure.

I'm so damn exhausted. Told the family about it as well.

Now, I can just focus on me. I can't even tell what I am feeling. Feel numb and sheer exhaustion.

I guess I have a lot of plans of make for my own future....

[lostmiss97]

I just read through your posts... I'm so sorry you have to deal with it all crashing on you like that. It's not easy to walk away when you were trying to use your DB techniques for so long. 2 years is a long time to try... I think you can at least tell yourself that. Now that you know for sure that she's pregnant and he's staying there you can move forward and rebuild your life. It seems scary and daunting to move forward with life on your own, but you are now at a point where you can do what you want for yourself. I like what you were talking about before when you were thinking about where your career will take you. You don't have to decide it all at once and you're not going to be ok all at once. It takes different amounts of time for everyone. Sometimes you need to give yourself a break and not hold yourself to an expectation of "getting over it" when you have to actually work through it.

[Orchid37]

Well....thank you so much for even reading my post!
All I have now is that I gave my all to this.
This has been a great board for the last 2 yrs.. People are amazing!!

[grebjack]

Sigh. I hope my marriage is reconciled, but if not that, I hope it dies in a way that gives me time to take it all in but also in a way that goes fast enough that I can tell this means it's really over. And I hope, Orchid37, that I am as strong as you. Hope your silence means you're doing well.