Alamo you did ok...when things are in the crapper you stepped up. Just make sure it doesnt become something you do everytime. being supportive and helpful is great Just don't do it at your own self worth. So I am saying do it cuz you want to, not cuz you are trying to earn brownie points. Thinking about you and sending you strength... you can do this and you will be OK!
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Alamo you did ok...when things are in the crapper you stepped up. Just make sure it doesnt become something you do everytime. being supportive and helpful is great Just don't do it at your own self worth. So I am saying do it cuz you want to, not cuz you are trying to earn brownie points. Thinking about you and sending you strength... you can do this and you will be OK!
Thanks Wanda...I'm trying not to jump in every time, but it seems like every time our son is involved.
UPDATE 9pm
My wife calls me and asks if our son has insurance. I said no and she said he might need to go to the clinic or hospital, because our son was acting disoriented and exhibiting some symptoms that were worrying her. I told her not to worry, I'll pay for his visit and whatever. So she asked if I had the on-call number to our son's doctor. I told her I'll look for it and let her know. After she talked to the doc, she told me our son has an appointment at 9:15am tomorrow. I told her if she doesn't mind, I want to be there too. Then she said she wanted to lay it out there: "From a scientific point of view, what you're doing is being controlling and manipulative...you needing to be at every appointment or event." I said I want to be there because I want to be there for him and was going to help pay for his visit. Then she and I went back and forth a little more, so I changed the subject and asked if what the on-call doctor said. Then we talked about our son for another 10 minutes.
At the end I said sleep well and goodnight. My wife said, ok, see you at the clinic tomorrow at 9:15.
I thought scientifically I was being controlling and manipulative? I thought she wants to proceed with the divorce paperwork? So why does she treat me like this? Am I being a doormat?
Actually, scientifically, she is being controlling and manipulative, because she is attempting to make you feel guilty and keep you away from your kid.
You are controlling yourself, not her.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Sandi/Wanda -- Yes, it was related to my son's vomiting the other night. Thankfully the doctor said our son was doing okay by the time we visited the clinic. He just has a slight cough still, but all is well; I'm so glad. The other cool thing was the doctor didn't charge us a thing (I was ready to pay cash), I think because he knew my wife was a 3rd year medical student and she basically did half of the diagnosing for him.
I had a great time with my son this weekend. He's been such a trooper being sick and all; he has a great attitude and charming mannerism about him that makes my heart melt every time. If you met him, you'd know what I was talking about. I have to say that I think being back at work and practicing my 180s there has also made me more appreciative of each moment I spend with our son. I feel like a deeper bond between us was shaped this week...at least that's how I feel.
Thank y'all again for your love and support. We are all going through very, very tough times, and I'm glad I have all of you.
It's been only a week since she moved out, so I pray that her mind and heart will get to breathe better now, that perhaps she will see that I'm on her side.
It's also interesting that I have been feeling better since she moved out as well. Not that I like it, but some space is good. Wish she didn't see the need to take our son and dog with her. It's too quiet here now.
Alamo - The timing of our situations is similar right now. My W just moved out yesterday. It is good to hear that you are feeling better now. I have been told it gets better.
I luckily have been working on 50/50 co-parenting of our S. He has his first cold tonight, and I have him here at home. My W is sad, but I told her that I would take good care of him and to get some sleep.
It is moments like these, that I wish the same things you wish for. In the end, I need to take care of myself and my S. My W needs to self discover on her own.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
Sparks - I hear ya. I don't like the loneliness and occasional isolation, especially at night before bed.
UPDATE 6pm It's been a quiet few days on the relationship front, which has given me more pause about preparing myself in case my wife files for an uncontested divorce and does end up in another state for her hospital residency. As some of you know, she plans to take our son with her, and I'm not cool with that, but don't exactly want to bring her to court over joint custody, even if it's just mediation. It just ain't right.
I have been busting my head over this. My wife has been very cooperative in terms of our parenting plan for our son right now, and for me to turn around and contest for a far joint custody of our son...I don't know what to do or say. I've been trying to imagine how the dialog will go. If my wife does file in June (or sooner) I have only a month under California law to respond.
