Well my old thread is locked and I do not know how to link it here. I did start a thread in WAS because that it where I am at. If anyone reads the story there, you will understand why I am at this place in my life now.
I have had no contact with H for about a week now. It has be nice. I will be taking steps this week to make the seperation legal. I have no idea how long it takes to get a D, but I will find that out this week too. Even with all the recent events I think that I will continue to DB for myself. I need to make sure I do not make the same mistakes I did in this M. And I am not sure how I will be able to trust any other male again. Thanks to everyone that has prayed for me and helped me through these last few weeks. it has ment alot.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Even with all the recent events I think that I will continue to DB for myself
That's what it's all about, saving yourself.
Please do not catagorize all men as your H. Trust is a big issue, I understand. If you can't trust then you can never find love again.
The lessons learned here will help you to know yourself better and require respect from a new partner.
gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
That is why i am going to keep DBing, cuz I do not have trust in men and at this moment, I do catagorize them all together. I have a lot of healing to do. But time is on my side and I am going to do the very best I can.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
I can relate about not being sure you can trust someone again, because that is how I feel. But deep down I know I would never cheat. So maybe there are many people that feel the exact same way. I can live without my wife but I really wanted to make it work. This puts all of us in a tough spot, we need to take care of us for us.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
I echo what g8 says. Dont paint all of us with one brush. Sure there will be people that cheat but I think there are more that dont. But at least you can see the signs if it does happen again and one thing I will do next time im in a serious relationship that involves living with someone and that is a prenup before moving in.
I know that sounds jaded but once bitten twice shy on that count.
It sounds like im contradicting myself and maybe i am , but the financial part of this although pales to the emotional hurt is still a factor.
9 BITS
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Wanda I can relate to how you feel. Today my cousin stopped by and we discussed my sitch. During the conversation I mentioned my fear W had damaged our trust so much I didn’t know if I could work on building a new relationship with her until after trust had been established again. I fear we may never get over that hurdle.
Today is a sad day for me. I wish I could help. I wish I had more words for you.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Thank-you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement. It really means so much to me. It helps me become stronger everyday. I plan on still being here on the boards. This community has a strength all on its own. And I am going to do this for me.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Well positive is not where I have been the last couple of days. Things with H have been down right crappy. I have managed to stay strong through most of it, at least when he is in my face, but it seems as soon as he is gone I am a complete wreck. All of a sudden he wants to be Mr.sweet and caring. worried about how things are gonna go. worried about bills and food and the mortgage. How things are going to work out with the kids blah blah blah. Today he tells me that he wants us to be nice with each other. That he was a bad husband and he is just trying to be honest with me. WTF? He hasn't been honest with me in years and he picks now to tell the truth? How the heck does he even expect me to believe him.
Then I get an email from our D7's teacher. She has been stealing from other classmates and causing some trouble. When I talked to her about the whole thing she told me she just wants to get expelled from school. Then she can be with mom 24/7. Holy crap is all I could think of. she is only 7 and is so effected by this split. I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying about this. I hate that my kids are hurting so bad.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
