I have been posting in Newcomers for about a month now. After the events and discoveries this week I do believe I am the true WAS. On Jan 14, 2011 I asked my H not to come home. Things were too much. He wasn't coming home allthe time anyways and I was tired of it. So after 2 weeks of him being gone and me not having any contact except through text for kids, he wanted to talk. We had a good talk he told me he loved me and wanted to come home. So for 2 more weeks we tried to work on things. I knew that something wasn't right. He wasn't here every night and would disappear at times.
On V-day, which is also our anniversary, he gave me a corny card and left for the day. I knew something was wrong. I texted him later that night and told him I was done. Told him to stay away again. The last few days with him gone I have discovered some very wrong, awful disturbing things about my H.
Firstly, H had an affair about 4 years ago. He told me and we tried to work past it. Things were okay for awhile. Moving forward to today, I have found out that he was sleeping with more than just one woman. There was more. He has also told his friends we have been split up since November. Complete lie. He tried to sell our travel trailer without me knowing. He has been trying to get his friends to hook him up with women. He left our S11 in a hotel room in a strange city so he could go to the strippers and then brings him back a signed to H poster for S11. And that is just the beginning.
This is the story that has me so creeped out...A few years ago we had a July 1st party. Lots of people and food and booze. At the end of the night one of our guests was to drunk to drive. We put her in the camper to crash. Half hour later I notice my H is missing. I discover him in the camper and both of them are standing up with their pants undone. There was screaming and yelling and she left. H and I fought and eventually I went to bed.
This is the part I did not know. When she went to the camper she passed out. She was woken up by H who was undoing her pants and trying to get into bed with her. When I walked in, I actually saved her. But, after I went to bed, H got in his truck and followed her home. He snuck into her house, got undressed and crawled into her bed...she woke up to him trying to have sex with her.
This whole story creeps me out. I don't even know who the heck I am married too. Just dumbfounded tonight. And I am so done with this marriage.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Thanks for the prayers and hugs. I am just never going to be able to trust him. I just know I am done. He does not deserve me or our kids. I won't be there when he self destructs.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
I do not blame you at all for deciding to end this.
From the sound of it this man does not deserve to have any woman to be his wife. There is no possible good that could come of you remaining married to him.
Please stay strong.
GH31.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
So yesterday I removed all the pictures of H in my house. I replaced them with pic of my kids and stuff. As I was taking apart our wedding album, Rascal Flats comes on and it's I'm Moving On. I had a really good cry. I am feeling like I have wasted 15 years of my life. I know I have lots of living left to do, just seems like I lost alot too. So my goal for this week is to keep removing him from my home and not cry anymore.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Hi Wanda - I was away for the weekend and am just catching up on all that's been happening to you. I'm sad for your situation, but happy for you that you know what you're willing to put up with and have control over how you're reacting. Once some of the crap settles and you keep moving on, I hope you go from feeling like you lost to more optimism about freedom from a dangerous influence in your life. Sure he'll still be around, but the person he is now is putting your health and safety at risk with his dangerous behaviors (criminal attempted rape? Std's etc).
Be safe, change your locks, teach your son that strippers are not cool. I hope he hits bottom and turns things around so he can be a good father and coparent.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
I am doing everything I can to protect myself. I had a talk with H tonight. I don't think it went as he had planned it. I have told him that if he is removing items from the house he needs to sign a document stating what he has taken. He was some pissed about it. He wanted to know why I would do this to him. I told him because he is not trustworthy. All he does is lie. And I told him I don't trust his friends either. Birds of a feather flock together.
Everyday I get a little stronger. Thanks everyone, you are a big part of my healing process!
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
