I desperately need help. He has gone dark. I realize I have been spiraling out of control in deep depression. Am pulling myself out of it. I don't care if he had an affair or not..I probably pushed him into it by not letting go of past when he was trying so hard for a year...and I was not really trying. I want to get him to come home after he is done at work and I want to make things work. I love him and I know a part of him still loves me or he wouldn't keep trying to come back.
Please...anyone...tell me what to do. He won't take my calls..I had to have a gal pal call him to give him info about his retirement that he needed..and he won't respond to me at all...I only have a week to get him to come home...or he will be out on his own again spiraling out of control...help!!!
He tried for a year to make up for sins of the past and I would not let stuff go...I am finally at rock bottom and want to start fresh...how do I convince him???
Hi Resilient, please breathe and try to relax. I think right now you need to just step back. If he is going dark, let him, at least for a while. Try to get yourself to a better place before you contact him, in the meantime he may contact you. Do whatever helps you relax. I know the feeling when panic hits, it keeps you from thinking clearly. I know not many people are on the board tonight so it is frustrating. I will be up for a little longer if you need to chat.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
He is at work where he has to stay sober and focused until next Thursday. That is all the time I have to convince him to come home...from now until Thursday...after that...I don't know what will happen.
Try not to focus so much on him. Focus on YOU and getting yourself calm.
I know that you are scared. I understand, but the panic is not making him want to come home. You ever hear of the saying, if you love something set it free? Work on yourself and the things you need to change. If he comes around, great. If he doesn't, you'll be ok bc of the work you have done on yourself.
Ok...so, I will stop trying to contact him. Stop asking him to contact me...and start working more on just me...using actions instead of words to show him I am changing. C
