Well, I got my flight to CO booked, and can't wait to spend 10 days with the two most absolutely wonderful little people on earth.
Trying to figure out how to handle things this time. Last time I was there I told her that I'd let her know what we're up to and that she's welcome to join us anytime. But, given the conversation from the other day where she told me I'm not giving her the space she needs, I'm not sure if I should do that again or not. I certainly don't want to exclude her from anything, but I have a hard time seeing the difference between that and not inviting her to join us. I also hate the fact that the kids can't have both mommy and daddy at the same time, and don't want to contribute to that in any way. On the other hand, one of her complaints has been that I always try to get her to do things she doesn't want to do. She could also see it as me trying to use the kids to get time with her. What does everyone think?
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
give her all the space in the world. the only way to influence someone is to talk about what they want and how they can achieve it.
your kids are learning from you how to handle the hard issues.
don't worry about her issues.you can't help her. plan something fun with your little girl.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Leave it open ended so she can refuse, no expectations. If you don't ask the answer is always no, so what do you really have to lose?
So: "W, you are most welcome to come if you wish, we'd enjoy your company."
Don't say anything else. Don't try to persuade.
You're allowing her to make a decision here with no pressure.
As long as you're indifferent the answer and behave that way too, she may surprise you.
Just my two cents.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Laying here in bed and listening to some music. "Times Like These" by Foo Fighters came on...I'm not usually one to pay much attention to lyrics, but they seemed applicable to a lot of our situations so I wanted to share them with everyone:
I am a one way motorway I’m the one that drives away Then follows you back home I am a street light shining I’m a wild light blinding bright Burning off alone
It’s times like these you learn to live again It’s times like these you give and give again It’s times like these you learn to love again It’s times like these time and time again
I am a new day rising I’m a brand new sky To hang the stars upon tonight I am a little divided Do I stay or run away And leave it all behind?
It’s times like these you learn to live again It’s times like these you give and give again It’s times like these you learn to love again It’s times like these time and time again
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Also wanted to dedicate this song to my W...I am so sorry for the pain you are going through right now...and I am here for you now and forever.
Don't give up It's just the weight of the world When your heart's heavy I...I will lift it for you
Don't give up Because you want to be heard If silence keeps you I...I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don't give up Because you are loved
Don't give up It's just the hurt that you hide When you're lost inside I...I will be there to find you
Don't give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I...I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don't give up Because you are loved
You are loved Don't give up It's just the weight of the world Don't give up Every one needs to be heard You are loved
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Hanging in there. Had some serious internal conflict with my goals of saving my M today, but I came to the same conclusion as before...I'm not giving up, ever.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
