Hello again, it's been a while since I've posted on here. I had a thread a while back called "help save my WAW" (not sure how to link it).
Quick background - 9 mo ago W told me that she wasn't happy and wasn't in love with me anymore. She thought we were more like good buddies than lovers. We tried counseling for a while and had a couple "lay it on the line", "heart to heart" discussions (mostly on my part), but she finally told me that we didn't have anything worth saving and that she wanted a D.
We now have been living separately for a little over two weeks, and we are signing the D papers this evening. It all happened a little faster than I expected, her mind is made up and she seems to want to get it over with.
I've read all about 180s and GAL and focusing on bettering myself, but how do I treat her? Do I still stay in contact? I still love her completely, although she hasn't supported me or even really showed that she cares about me for a long time. I know I deserve better and that this is probably for the best, but she's been my best friend for over ten years. I can't just drop that and walk away. The problem though, is that I don't think I'll be able to get over her if I don't.
Do I help her when she asks for it? Do I still do favors for her when she needs them? This is what I'm struggling with. I don't want to close the door forever, but I also don't want to be her crutch and let her walk all over me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
M:28 W:28 Together:13yrs high school sweethearts Married:2 currently filing living separately
Well last night I went over to "her" house to fill out D papers. I tried to be upbeat and friendly, but she was very distant and almost annoyed with me. After a bit she seemed to warm up a little, but still distant. How can we be SO CLOSE for so long and all-of-a-sudden like strangers? This is what is so hard for me. How did she switch so quickly? I guess if she is that OK with me not in her life, then she isn't someone I want in mine. It's still hard though.
M:28 W:28 Together:13yrs high school sweethearts Married:2 currently filing living separately
Don't worry about it. ALL WAS's act this way. It's almost like they enjoy it, but deep down they feel as if they are "hurting" and since the LBS is "obviously" the source of their pain, they have to move things along as quickly as possible.'
Hang in there though and start growing for yourself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
focus on you. you'll come out of this just fine. i've been separated for well over a year. as soon as we went our separate ways, i wouldn't even acknowledge him on the street.
