Hello again, it's been a while since I've posted on here. I had a thread a while back called "help save my WAW" (not sure how to link it).
Quick background - 9 mo ago W told me that she wasn't happy and wasn't in love with me anymore. She thought we were more like good buddies than lovers. We tried counseling for a while and had a couple "lay it on the line", "heart to heart" discussions (mostly on my part), but she finally told me that we didn't have anything worth saving and that she wanted a D.
We now have been living separately for a little over two weeks, and we are signing the D papers this evening. It all happened a little faster than I expected, her mind is made up and she seems to want to get it over with.
I've read all about 180s and GAL and focusing on bettering myself, but how do I treat her? Do I still stay in contact? I still love her completely, although she hasn't supported me or even really showed that she cares about me for a long time. I know I deserve better and that this is probably for the best, but she's been my best friend for over ten years. I can't just drop that and walk away. The problem though, is that I don't think I'll be able to get over her if I don't.
Do I help her when she asks for it? Do I still do favors for her when she needs them? This is what I'm struggling with. I don't want to close the door forever, but I also don't want to be her crutch and let her walk all over me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
M:28 W:28 Together:13yrs high school sweethearts Married:2 currently filing living separately
Do I help her when she asks for it? Do I still do favors for her when she needs them? This is what I'm struggling with. I don't want to close the door forever, but I also don't want to be her crutch and let her walk all over me.
you don't want to close the door forever? sounds like she's already doing that. you don't have to lift a finger.
if you want to be a doormat, then help her. if you've been helping her all along and it hasn't stopped HER from closing the door. then what does MWD suggest? do something different.
