Just confirmed that my W is having an affair... My wife is bipolar. Have not let her know that I know. Seems she is doing all this through facebook... Gotta love that technology.
My first wife had an affair and left me for the other man.
What is wrong with me. Why is this happening again?
The nightmare is happening all over again...
I don't want this marriage to fail... I love my wife...
Reccos - I'm sorry that you are going thru this for the second time. I totally agree with TG007, FB IS truly a devil's playground. I've never heard it quite put that way, but it's so incredibly true and fitting.
Get Michele's book DR if you haven't already and start reading. We are all in the same boat in this forum and have forged some really great friendships. Other people's insights too have been extremely helpful. Sometimes you're too close to the situation and you need that outside perspective.
Hang in there and please continue to post. I will follow your story.
Peace - ZG
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Hi and welcome to the community. Stay with us and post everyday. The more details you can give, the better we can help.
You said your W doesn't know that you know. Are you refering to the A or the bi-polar? Is she taking medication?
Has the A turned physical or is it an EA?
There is neccessarily anything wrong with you just b/c this has happen in both M's. We do, however, encourage the LBS to take a good hard look at what they might not be doing that their S needed. Then we encourage the LBS to make goals and to work at being a much better person.
You need to have a plan of action. Before you make a plan, you need to know what you are able to live with.....and what you can't. You need to know what is most important and what lengths you will go in a R.
It's a step-by-step, day-by-day progress.....and most men think they can't do that b/c they want to "fix" the W and get things back to how it use to be. But, they soon learn they can do it if they keep their eyes on the goal.
Your M can be saved, but it won't be overnight.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
This is our 2nd marriage for both of us. Been together since 2002. Introduced through a mutual friend. Was a god send for me. We clicked right away. She and her kids moved in with me and my kids in 2004. Married in 2004.
Together we have 7 kids. Still have one at home.
I graduated to a new career in 2004. Basically started over after 23 plus yrs in the IT industry. Been a struggle financially.
Blended family issues, kids and money issues.
We both work.
Finances/Budget has always been a struggle for her. Not real good at saving.
W has always been obsessed with computer games.
Had a feeling that this was going on last August. Accidently saw a text on her phone from someone other than me that words like I love you where being used... She was asleep. Daughter sent text, thought I'd reply so she would have to wake up. Found text. Had an agrument over it. Thought it was the end.
She is very protective of her cell phone. Says that is none of my business what she does or who she texts.
Has been driving me crazy...
Now find this out. This is a totally different person. Not sure how they meet. Not sure how far it has gone. My sense is that is has been physical... Without going into a whole lot of detail, just various clues, what she wears, how she dresses, and started a different look.
Really want her back...
She is my my best friend...
Not sure where to start with either Love Busters or Divroce Remedy... Have both...
Therapist says because of confidentiality I can't talk to her. I have to get my wifes permission.
Understand that I can't talk to her about what she and my wife talk about, but can't understand why she wouldn't want to talk to me to get another perspective of what may be going on with my wife.
