I haven't done everything wrong...

[islander]

W just text me and wanted to know if I was working tomorrow night. I asked her "why" and she replied "nevermind". I told her I just wanted to know why she was asking. She wanted to know if I would take the dog tomorrow, then said she was sorry to bother me. I never told her I wasn't working, and I did not respond. She only really contacts me when she wants something, and it seems like she wants to guilt me into taking the dog.

Was I wrong for the way I responded. She works too much to keep the dog who is always in a cage now. She needs to get rid of her. She took her from a fenced in yard to an apartment, bc of the choices she made.

[Denver_2010]

Dude... some of it gets easier... but it does not get easy. I'm so sorry for what you, me, all of us, are going through. I can't imagine anything more painful.

[Denver_2010]

Stop responding to her texts Islander. DBing does work. But you have to be disciplined. But no, nothing wrong with the way that you responded.

[islander]

I wasnt going to respond and knew that I shouldn't. Then I started to think that maybe she wanted to get together, but I should have realized she was working. I don't know what I was thinking to tell you the truth. After we have lunch Monday I am going to go dark again.

[marmie]

cancel the lunch.

[islander]

Today, I feel like giving up. I am not, but everything I know tells me there is no hope. My W not only had a PA, but is no living with OM. My Sitch seems on the far end of what is savable.

[marmie]

cancel the lunch. that is at least one thing you can control. that is at least one shot that you can call. cancel it.

[Truegritter]

Today, I feel like giving up. I am not, but everything I know tells me there is no hope.

My friend you decide when to give up.

Not the action or inaction of another.

YOU.

What do you want?

Decide and and live your life that way.

She may see who you now have become because of this tragedy or

not.

If you give up. Does it feel like failure?

Your success depends on you and your choices.

And how they align with who you are

and what you believe.

Look there is an opportunity here.

For you to understand what this life means for you.

Don't put that in the hands of another person.

Don't let someone else defeat you.

You may leave but leave on your terms.

Not with shame, anger, defeat, or because your cowboys are bruised.

What do you have left?

What do you want?

Do you have questions that need answers?

Only you can find them and you won't unless you stand up for what you believe.

Only in the face of adversity will you find your answers.

Then you will walk forward in this life with your W or with someone else.

But you will walk without doubt or fear.

[islander]

For the first time in months, I actually laughed and had a good time at work. Then on my way home, I start to feel bad about it. Then W texts me about watching SD tomorrow, and I agree (I ignored several other texts during the day). W then starts texting more and I can tell that she is not happy with the fallout from her decision to leave, but because it is not concerning our kids, so I ignore her and do not respond. And what kills me is that I feel bad for her bc she is so lost, she can't even put two and two together. I want to be there for her, but why. She could end all of our pain right now. If she chooses not to, I will continue to work on me. I know I am 100% better than I was 3 months ago, but I have so far to go. Someboday wrote that if we could see ourselves in the future, we would not hurt so much now. But the hurting now is what makes the future what it is. I know I will never be the same person again, I will be better.

[Denver_2010]

THOSE, Islander, are great words. Remember them.

BITS
Denver