DG - NICE!!! Your hard work has been paying off, FAB, FAB!
Keep him coming back begging for more!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
You did good DG. See a few posts on FB can do wonders. I always believe it's important for the WAS to SEE the changes in their spouses.
Okay, next time he calls, don't answer. As a matter of fact, don't answer until the next day. He's still trying to keep you in his control.
The key is to have him wanting you so much that he'll do whatever it takes to try to keep you. Trust me on this one.
You've already planted the seed, now it's his turn to start WANTING you more.
Dixie - That is awesome!!! I think that you have seen your first baby steps. But remember, you can't go from baby steps to a dead sprint. Keep doing what you are doing.
I think that LIS is dead on with her advice. BOND is giving you the instruction manual though. I think that he absolutely right on how to proceed now.
Keep working Dixie! You are doing great!!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Mr. Bond I'm gonna follow that instruction to the letter!!!
Thank yall so much for all your support...its baby steps!! But, its the steps that could lead somewhere!!!
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
Dixie, You have brought a smile to my heart today. I am very excited for you. But, please make sure to stick to the plan, OK. Don't let him mess with you. Bond is dead on. Don't answer the next time he calls. Remember my analogy about you being a "drug" for him. Next time, don't let him get his fix quite as easily. Make him work for it. He has played too many games with you in the past. Take a bit of control for your own good.
Man, I am stoked. I have watched your poor heart suffer for so long and today you got to feel the sunshine on your face. Smile tonight, you are doing great! Sorry to hear about your other woes, but remember, they are noting but "background noise" right now. You are a highly-trained, well-equipped DB'er looking to kick some *ss!!!
BITS never walk alone!
FOBE
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
Before I go to bed I wanted to say Take A Bow. Congrats on keeping it together while going dard and keeping your cool while talking to him. You deserve a small victory and I am glad you got it today.
Mr Bond has given you solid advice I believe. The one thing I wanted to tell you almost echoes what Lost and the others have said. It is easy to lose your bearing at this moment because the excitement over takes reason.
Keep it together and remember to look at this for what it is, a small victory nothing else. If your dinner goes good, then you have a small victory. I believe that when the WAS makes contact with you is when the real challenge begins and it is easy to lose focus and backslide.
For the meantime please hop and skip around the house and breathe a big sigh of relief, you have done fantastic. One person’s success is all of our successes, especially when it is a BITS
Another suggestion is to think of something that he's always said he wanted to do with you but didn't. Do that activity and show it on FB with the comment "Having a blast".
That'll get his attention. LOL.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I just wanted tell my friend here...Thank You! I was praying and thanking GOD for all my blessings...that's yall!
Yall are here to celebrate the lows and highs with me!!! I couldnt have kept it together this long w/out yall.
I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm ready either way I think. I'm going over the DBing books and focusing on the areas that I needed to change.
Have not heard from H again as of yet. But staying focused right now on work and my relationship w/GOD....
Good news though, my friend and I met for Dinner. Her H is a airline pilot. At dinner she said, she wants for her and I to have a girls weekend in the wine country!!! Her H will cover our flights w/his free passes!!!! I'm soooo excited to return to Callie..we are ironing out the details. But, she wants us to go in March/April!!!!
Yall have a wonderful day...Ill be stuck in meetings all day!
Prayers Always for yall,
Dixie
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
You are always the bright spot on a cloudy day! I don't know how you do it - I am amazed. I feel like I've been wallowing in self pity since yesterday and it's got me it's grip pretty tight.
Your words always make me smile. It's probably the y'all's! Glad to hear you have a nice trip on the horizon. You deserve it!
Hoping you have a great day as well - Prayers back at ya!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11