Kevc... just FYI considering your wife is at a shelter, you might want to look here. These are all the forms abuse can take It is in your interest to know this IMO.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
My wife is not coming home yet as she may take a house as a temp measure, she calls it her safty net.
OM has gone, she has removed him from fb, i cant see her friends but i know someone who can and has verified this, she messaged me to say she had done this, i told her i trusted that she would, no need to tell me. This was her idea, i never mentioned OM at all, she just told me all, like i said i listened and verified.
Another source told me she has come off all dating sites, again no mention from me yet she told me that today.
She loves me so very much and wants to go slow, hence other house.
Twice she spoke of ending divorce proceedure, twice i just replied ok, inside i wanted to jump for joy !!. Like i said she spoke of, never said she was going too.
She said she wants to come home but not yet, at refuge they do not permit seeing husbands, she wants to see me regulary, so it will be easier with own house.
So a good day not home yet but looking good, calm..calm..calm.., she is staying every weekend so thats nice, but believe me im cautious, ....kevc
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Kevc, that is terrific news. I am so very happy for you both.
I know you’ve heard this before and read it on this site. There may be some pull back from your W. Be patient it happens.
IMO, That she is getting her own place is giving her some space. She probably needs space to work through some of her own issues. Be supportive. She’ll let you know when she is ready to let go of the safety net.
I have no personal reference, but from what I’ve read it is like the two of you are dating so be friendly and fun.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Well sorry i havnt posted for a few days been so many ups and downs.
My wife came to stay for weekend, we got on well although she said i should have done a bit more DIY around the place, the fact was i wasnt sure if staying or not.
On the last day she said she coming home not taking own place.
She went back on Sunday said she would turn any house down, have a meeting there with the women who run the refuge and tell them she loved me and is coming home.
That will not go down well at all and i know she fears telling them.
Spoke last night with her and she was very cool, said meeting would be today as they were busy, has text me about general things but mentioned no meeting and has not mentioned coming home, i do not want to push so havnt asked but im scared she has changed her mind,
or i guess they have helped her do that.
This maybe pull back time, she told all the children she would be back this week but i can tell all is not well due to her coolness with me.
What a rollercoaster this is, sitting here now with baited breath,
Im just going to distance, no questions or preasure, just wait i guess........kevc
Kevc, You know how you got this far. Stick with the plan. I am reading your post thinking he’s speculating. A lot of good can be undone reacting to speculation grounded in our own fears. Don’t fall into that trap. Don’t over analyze.
If she does pull back and you knew it was a possibility so what. That just means she is hesitating and is probably seeking assurance. Where were you a month ago? A lot further back than now, even if and it is if she pulls back.
Originally Posted By: kevc
Im just going to distance, no questions or preasure, just wait i guess........kevc
No guess, do it. Patience, Calm, Confident, Supportive
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
We had a falling out in the week, spoke to her over the last couple of nights and as time went on she went from cold to the " I love you " in her comments.
Last night she asked if it was still ok to come for the weekend.
I said yes and will be picking her up, we said our goodnights.
Today she was very cold, short and sweet to say the least but says she is still coming to stay.
Then bomb shell, my friend told me she has added OM back on to her facebook. Now im not meant to know, so there is no way i can comment.
Last weekend she left some belongings here, stuff she will need as the plan was to come home this week which she now says not yet.
She may well take this stuff back now and this weekend i feel that she may use me to do just that.
Not being funny but im kind of dreading this weekend knowing what i know, you see in the past her and OM used facebook to plan meets.
She admitted to my daughter that she spoke to both of us at the same time on there and saying that, she, over the past two nights took ages to respond.
She had also told my daughter that he was bossy and not for her and yet he is back on the scene.
I am now shaking, the pain is unbearable, i really dont know if i can take much more of this torment, i know if i push she will be gone, its going to be so hard being cool and confident, will speak to her tonight on the internet, in a way im hoping she will change her mind and not come, then again i just want to hold her......help please how do i handle all this...kevc
