Alamo I speak from experience. I have never had one good result by bringing up our D2 as an excuse to work on us. My W would usually just say "she'll be fine" or "so am I just supposed to live unhappy then." I have learned to adamantly avoid it. However, I did slip up when my W was over and asked me about a joint filing. One of the reasons I told her I wouldn't do it was bc it isn't the life I want for our D2. Like I stated before, my W told me that night that she was going to email some info on a joint filing. I agreed that I would read it. Knock on wood, I haven't received it yet. Maybe that's bc she knows I'm not going to do a joint filing or it could be the fact that she is still unsure. I pray for the second one. I sometimes wonder if she wants to do a joint bc it will ease the guilt if I am filing too. My heart has been stomped on and crushed by her A and actions. However, I still feel we can make it work with time. I can't foresee a scenario were I will joint file, but never underestimate the WAW....
Alright, a little update for ya'll on my sitch. I didn't hear from my W at all about our D2 as predicted this weekend. My sister babysat for me saturday night so I could go out to see that show in town with a friend. Last Wednesday when I talked to my W, the show came up, I mentioned I was going, she said she might be too. I got over anxious and told her I would buy her a beer or two if I saw her there. I know big DB mistake. She became hesitant on the phone and said "well maybe." I somehow knew she wouldn't be there and was right. I saw on fb that she would be in milwaukee with her friends. I was so disappointed...I know, I know IW is not detached! I went out and had fun anyways.
Sunday: my wife still gets mail at our house, she told me a month ago she was going to get her mail forwarded, but still hasn't. Usually comes by on a weekend and picks it up, I haven't been around the last couple of times she has. Anyways, she had a letter from our D2 health insurance cmpy. I opened it, I know she wouldn't mind bc we both pay the insurance, to see if it was something urgent. It wasn't but it was something I knew she would want to address soon. So I texted her about it. Here's how it went.
IW: did you take care of everything with D2 insurance?
W: I believe so, I sent it well before the due date
I was texting her back when she called in kinda a panic
She was snippy on the phone asking what I was asking for. I told her about the letter and read the dates off on it. Since my military days I read dates the way they teach you. She snapped at me to speak english. I told her to settle down and finished explaining the letter. The convo was short and we got the insurance thing figured out.
After hanging up I felt weird about how she had talked to me. There was no need for her to be bitchy.I then sent her another text
IW: what was with the attitude
W: no attitude. You sent me a text asking if everything was fine with D2 insurance, then I got worried that she was hurt. That's why I called in a panoc. Sorry I didn't mean to have attitude---was just worried until I talked to you
IW: U would be the first to know if something was wrong and I sure wouldn't text it.
W: k
Yesterday and last night we got a foot of snow. Seems to always happen when I have my D2. My W calls me at 530 this morning and asked me how I was going to get out of the driveway? I told her my truck would make it. She said she would stop by the end of the drive and pick up our D2 and take her to day-care for me. This would give me time to snow blow the drive. I thanked her but said my truck would make it and I will just clean the driveway out after work.
I know, not the most exciting post but thought I would share.
IW, I think you need to find a way to let your wife go. Stop texting unless you are have logistic problems with the care of your daughter. It is too easy to keep in contact, and that is keeping W on your mind. Remember, you don't need her. Find a safe thought or action you can go to when you are thinking of her, and go to it. What she does right now is on her. Get busy being the IW that is a woman magnet.
You are all right. I need to find ways to put her out of my mind. I like working on my house and am pretty handy. I bought some new tongue and grove boards for the basement. Time to get it stained and up. I do feel better working on a project. My mind is focused on that and not her. Keeps me away from my phone too. Being cooped up in the house doesn't help either. I really want spring to arrive. I have a lot of projects I want to start outside...if my house isn't sold. Cabin fever doesn't help my sitch
Truegritter Your right I will just start another account.
What do the rest of you do to keep your own WAW off your mind?
You whet truegritter your right. She left that man behind bc he became weak and allowed himself to be controlled. I don't feel like him anymore. I am fed up with being pushed around, needy, walked on, used, overlooked, taken for grant, and just plain treated like $%«£!!! I have the house and it's my domain to do whatever I want with it. She chose to leave and live with her mother and therefore forgo her stock in what happens in this house. I have my D2 and can do whatever I want with her. If I want to build snowmen, dress her in camo, go swimming at the y, or take her to the harley museum...than damnit I will. I was trying to help her out financially bc I know money is tight for her but that is gonna end. She has money to go to milwaukee, then she has money to pay her bills. If she needs more money she can get another job, she should have lots of free time since she is now a part-time mom. I do love that woman more than I can express, but a man can be pushed just so far!
Country Kinda funny you said that. Was just talking to a friend of mine in california for a long weekend this summer. A much needed vacay. Thanks for checking in
