Having a hard time... II

[what next?]

old thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2117695&page=16

I replied with this just now:

I'm learning a ton and the best part is how much I am actually able to take the lead with. Tara thinks that with my analytical skills and her technical knowledge we could pretty much run the company which would free up Jason to keep consulting. That's pretty encouraging coming from her because she was the VP of business development at her old company (she was 7th in seniority out of about 350 employees.) She has been really impressed with me so far... hopefully that's not just her pain meds lol. I have only met with two staffing companies but the second one gave me three jobs to apply to ranging from 52 to 88k. Who knows if I actually have a shot but it's better than the first place that told me they only get jobs for about 10% of the people that they interview. Tara even offered to let me stay at her house if I want to come down for a week or two at a time to work on stuff. It's pretty cool... I guess we're building the data room pretty much in her house.

...........

Yeah, I failed in ending with a question. She emailed me while I was writing it (just to tell me that I had a package) and it messed up my focus lol. So, I sent it quicker than I meant to.

[MrBond]

Well if she sent you a message about the package, then respond back to her about it. I still say you should call. All this texting is giving me a headache.

[what next?]

I'm thinking about calling tomorrow and asking her to deposit the check in our joint account. That way I would have a good reason to call about something short and to the point.

[what next?]

^^the package was most likely a check I have been waiting on

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I chickened out and just emailed her about the check... too hung over and had to work early this morning lol

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She replied right away... didn't want to sign the check for me so i told her I would deposit it in the joint account to cover anything I spend out of it. I'm going to figure out a reason to call her this weekend though. That is my goal. To make it through a conversation (short) on the phone with her. Man, I miss her so freaking much. I just want to tell her that... but I won't obviously.

[what next?]

wow... tonight was hard. I don't know why but I lost it on the way home. Thought I had a good day but had moments where I was really bummed then coming home I just couldn't keep it together. I'm torn between thinking I'm in denial that we have a chance and that I'm in denial that I can go on without her lol.

[Queen_of_Swords]

wow... tonight was hard. I don't know why but I lost it on the way home. Thought I had a good day but had moments where I was really bummed then coming home I just couldn't keep it together. I'm torn between thinking I'm in denial that we have a chance and that I'm in denial that I can go on without her lol.

Oh man me too. I constantly feel like I'm in a catch 22. Living on the edge of disaster no matter which path I choose.
Cut my losses acquiese to the divorce and bail out like H did. Continue to fight, hope and DB like mad ...and still end up with the family that we created in pieces, with me at the end still doing life mostly on my own with no one watching my back.

[what next?]

Was a rough night last night because I went out with friends that we had met on vacation. So these were people that only knew my wife and I at our happiest. Just reminded me of how much love we had for each other and to know that that can fall apart was too much for me. I had to leave early and just can't figure out if I'm screwing everything up by moving away or doing the right thing for me (and hopefully the marriage.) I'm just questioning everything that I do and have no confidence at the moment. Rough weekend for me.

[Denver_2010]

Well if she sent you a message about the package, then respond back to her about it. I still say you should call. All this texting is giving me a headache.

Hey Next. I just wanted to chime in here. I think Bond is right. CALL HER. Stop doing the texts and emails. I know that it is hard. For the first month of my sitch the very thought of actually speaking to my W made me feel like I was back in H.S. getting ready to ask a girl out on a date! I was nervous. I still am. BUT, I have started using the phone to communicate with my W, and have actually had some personal contact this weekend which I will update on my thread. But I have found that the more you actually talk to her, the easier it becomes.... the less nervous I have becomes.

TM's and emails are so impersonal... she's not hearing your voice. I think that you need to do it in a non-pursuing way, but she also needs to hear your voice.

JMO

BITS
Denver