I actually started this thread somewhere else but really this is the place it should be. A lot more traffic here. Hello everyone I am new to this site and here is my story. Wife left on October 21 of 2010 went to live in Oklahoma with family, I live in Jersey. We have been married for 8 ½ years and together for ten years. I don’t even know where to begin many many moons ago we had a great relationship moved to Jersey had some good times and some bad times but we always pulled through and always had each other. In 2005 after my wife had suggested for a long time we got custody of my daughter from a previous marriage. A few months later my mom moved in after her own divorce went south. After 4 years my wife was feeling stressed and felt as if I did not care about her or her feelings and felt like the house was 3 against one. After many arguments she finally left. At first I was ok with it until I read Michelle’s Book and saw all the stuff I had done wrong. She felt as though I treated her like a second class citizen in her own house and basically pushed her out. Since she left we have kept in communication and not all our conversations were nice but mostly they were. I felt terrible and asked my mom to move out and just stayed with my daughter. I tried fighting for our marriage but she said it was too little too late, I should have fought when she was here not when she left. She since has gotten an apartment and a job. I saw her in December and had a decent time and felt as if the trip was worth after my return we began to talk everyday but two days after Christmas things turned for the worse when she had not called in two days and I was angry. I sent her a text telling her I think we are done and she responded very angry. We argued and hung up the phone. The next day she called again and we talked for over an hour I was telling her we could work things out and she saying she doesn’t see it. A week went by and no contact and on the 5th of January we spoke again. This time for over 2 hours she cried and I pleaded. The usual mistake every person makes in this situation. After two hours she said she had filed that day. She got a loan and hired an attorney. Today I received the paperwork and we spoke again. As pleasantly as I could I told her I would sign the papers and mailed them back. I wish it didn’t have to go this route but I felt too much damage had been done and she agreed. She said don’t make the same mistakes the next time and it was too bad it came to this. She sounded so matter of fact that in one moment I lost all hope. I guess I just need some reassurance because I am totally out of breath right now. Who comes back from this? The distance makes it hard and when I hear how angry she has become towards me it makes me very sad. I just had my first session with my DB today but feel it might be too little too late.
It took some considerable effort to get this thread unlocked. I would really like some insight here guys and gals because I feel as though I have a constant knot in my chest. Three months and instead of feeling better I feel worse.
