Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Snowing like crazy in Wisconsin. My kids are expected home on Thursday. I hope they don't get stuck in the airport.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Not much new in my sitch. Ex texted me a few days ago about something regarding the kids schedule. It did not merit a response so I did not. Ex planning another trip next week with OW. I believe this is trip number 35 since the divorce. You would think this guy would be sick of traveling and running. He just came back from a cruise last week. Ugh.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I have followed your posting for a long time, and think you handle your difficult situation very well. However, and a small 2 x 4 is coming up here, I think at present you are still involved with what your h is doing. I have just read HBs posting to Tadpole, reminding him that we need to focus on ourselves, and leave them to complete their journey.
It is really hard when they appear to resurface, as yours did. We get used to dealing with the crazy and mean MLCer and then they pop out and do 'sorry and nice' for a bit, and it is destablizing [I speak from experience here!]
Please take a step back, and stop counting their vacations, and having any interest you don't absolutely need to in his life. Someone asked me recently is I knew where my exh was currently, and I hadn't got a clue, and found I really wasn't interested.
I'[m here to take the splinters out of your head. Have a drink w me while I find my tweesers....
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
I think Beatrice is absolutely right. It's something I wanted to say to you for a while now. The fact that you are still counting their vacations shows that you are still focusing too much on what your ex is doing. The only person you are hurting by doing this is yourself. You need to step back from all this and keep your focus elsewhere or else you are just going to drive yourself crazy.
I know it's hard. My ex and his girlfriend have gone on numerous vacations too. At first I used to know when and where they went, but I stopped checking up on their life a long time ago. I have no idea what they do with their life anymore, and I am more at peace now that I don't focus on them. It is a gift I gave myself. You deserve this gift too.
Trusting, I think you and I are in a similar place and I do think that it is hard to let go of the idea of a family made whole. But IF--and that is a big word at this stage of the game for me and probably for you too--X is ever to make a gesture in your direction, you need to be happy and whole yourself, and yes, that does mean letting go of what's happening with those two.
With that said, since you did get an apology from your X, I can understand how that would open a lot of old wounds. Be easy on yourself here...but the advice is on target.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
