Sorry my first post was so long. I'm guessing that's why I haven't gotten more than 1 reply. So I summed it all up in a shorter post and I'm hoping to get some good feedback. Thanks!
I feel so torn apart. I don't know which end is up. I have 2 children, a 13 yr old daughter and a10 yr old son from my first marriage, it ended almost 10 years ago. I've dated for most of that 10 years, but never found anyone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Until M. I met him online. We had a long distance relationship for a while and then he moved into my house. We were married shortly after we moved in together. Shortly after we were married, I discovered that everything he had told me about himself, everything that made me fall in love with him, was a great big web of lies. I'm not even sure if our marriage is legal because he told me that he was older than he actually is and our marriage license reflects the fake age. When I confronted him, he told me that he was sorry he mislead me but that I could trust him going forward. But he continued to lie. He lies about little things, big things, everything. He even makes up stories to try to make himself seem like the big man on campus to try to impress me. There is even a possibility that he has a child that he abandoned. His paycheck is garnished for child support, he swears it is a case of stolen identity, but he does nothing to try to fix it. We fight all the time. He says that I just love drama and that I look for things to be mad at him about, but I really don't. He just does things all the time that upset me. He expects my children to be perfect little angels like he says he was growing up, and his is always on their case about just being kids. He doesn't contribute to the household bills. He doesn't even put gas in my car even though he is the one who drives it all the time. He plays video games constantly. Last night we talked and he said that he needs more affection. I told him that I can offer him small things to show him I am trying, but that I am not ready for sex. I told him that I needed him to stop lying to me COMPLETELY. He agreed. Today, he called out of work and spent all day at a bar watching a "very important" football game. When he got home I told him I was upset and he immediately started with the low blows. Saying he did nothing wrong and that I was just looking for a reason to start a fight. He kept saying "I haven't lied to you all day. That's what you said would make you feel closer to me" When I explained that 1. One day of telling the truth does not make everything ok, 2. That I was angry because he called out of work and hung out at a bar, instead of making money, he spent money, and I have been asking for money to pay our bills...he made excuses and then turned it around on me, saying that I just wanted him here to wait on me hand and foot. He also added that he wasn't fooled by my holding his hand and putting my arm around him when we were in bed last night, that he knew I was only trying to humor him. I didn't respond, mostly because I wasn't even sure what he was getting at. We have been trying to go to marriage counseling, but have not yet found one that accepts my insurance (medicare- i am disabled). I don't know what to do. On one hand I don't want to end another marriage without even trying to get help, but on the other hand I feel like we are beyond help-I mean, I don't even know who he really is! Help!
StrugglingWife - Have you thought about seeing a counselor on your own first? Will Medicare pay for this?
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Okay just playing devil's advocate here. If he's lied to you and mislead you so far why are you holding onto him? I understand that you love him, etc. But what about the safety of your kids? Your love for him seems to be making you blind to all of the things that he's done to you. IMO.
My guy sense is tingling and it's screaming BS. He knows he can control you which is why he's yanking you around. H knows you won't leave. To me that's just emotional abuse. And the fact that he isn't really thinking of your kids. A real man doesn't do that.
So why do you want to stay married to him?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
