I just got married 5 months ago. Around 2 weeks ago, my wife told me it was over. She was tired of worrying about me. She says she did nothing but take care of me, and I gave nothing back. She says she hasn't loved me for over a year. Perhaps not coincidentally, I lost my job about a year ago... laid off. I had a very time consuming job for the first three months of our marriage.
She says she only got married because I proposed in a public place, and then there was so much momentum, she couldn't stop it. We just bought a house together 2 months ago. I asked for counseling, she refused. We have been together for around 5 years and been living together for almost 4.
We went back and forth over separation v. divorce and eventually I told her that though I was willing to fight to fix things with everything I had, if she isn't receptive to even seeing my hard work, then I guess we're done. At that point, she told me she needed a weekend to think about things. She went and visited her sister for new years. She came back and said it was over, and that she had slept with another man while she was away. It doesn't count as cheating though, she says, because she told me she wanted out first. She was "loyal to us while we were something".
She has been very consistent the past couple days: this is over, I need to move on. I've essentially been "in crisis" the past few days, but luckily, I have amazing friends who have my back, and I've been couch surfing a bit.
EVERYONE was blindsided by this. She apparently talked to no one about her unhappiness. Everyone thought we were a wonderful loving couple. Everyone just basically says: "Who the F@*& does this?!?" and tells me she's crazy.
I think at this point I need to move on, but its hard.... I thought we were happy, in love... until two weeks ago. All my hopes and dreams were entangled with her. I don't really WANT to move on.
Is there any hope, or should I just move on, and say "better now than later", especially while there's no kids?
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
About to go to sleep. Will try to post more later. But there is hope. If you W can change her mind from loving you to not loving you in 2 weeks, she can change it back. It may not take place in 2 weeks, but it can be done. JMO
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Hi OTS, Sorry that you find yourself here. It's the right place to be though with what you are going through. Have you read DB or DR? That helped me alot. You have such a jump on me if you read the book, You can save all the mistakes most of us make. Pleading, begging, pursuing etc etc etc.
Seems like alot to go through after such a short time being married. I don't know about you but if you heart is really involved...moving on is alot easier said than done.
Sleeping with another man so fast? I just assume my W is with EH in a PA. And I know how much that hurts. Sorry man.
